If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

Some people are gifted with a way with words, but other people… not so much. If you’ve ever attempted to write a thoughtful, appropriate Valentine’s Day card only to wind up with a million pieces of paper ripped up at your feet — this one’s for you.

As if finding the perfect Valentine’s Day gift wasn’t hard enough, it can also be a challenge to come up with a Valentine’s Day message, no matter what stage in your relationship you are. Even professional writers might be stumped and end up pulling out their hair figuring out exactly what words to write inside that blank card. You don’t want to go overboard and freak out someone you just started dating with an overly romantic card, which might cause an unexpectedly unpleasant conversation. On the other hand, if you’ve been with someone for a long time who really means a lot to you, you don’t want to write out a card that might come off as trite and watch your loved one’s face fall during your romantic Valentine’s Day date. The good news is you can be romantic — and not cheesy — with a perfect little quote or phrase in a personalized Valentine’s Day card.

Whether you’re casually dating someone, in a long-term relationship, or have been married for decades, here’s how to approach your Valentine’s Day love note. And if you’re intimidated by the entire Valentine’s Day card process, we even rounded up some examples of Valentine’s Day cards, from funny to super romantic, so you can pick one that matches the tone of the note that you’re planning to jot down inside.

The new relationship

Tip: Avoid sexual comments. They may be fun, but they’re best kept out of a card, especially in the new relationship.

You want to express your care for someone you’re still getting to know, without being too serious. Here are a few ideas on what to write:

Our favorite quote: “Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.” — author unknown

A BLANK SLATE

Scratch-a-sketch Valentine's Day Card

$9

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This V-Day card is certainly unique, and it gives you the power to write whatever you want. The card is your canvas. You aren’t forced to conform to a super sappy Valentine’s Day card pre-written by someone else.

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FOR THE DOG PERSON

'Be Mine' Puppy Card

$5.85

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Ask your Valentine to be yours with this cute illustrated puppy. The card is blank and perfect if your beau has a furry friend.

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THE APP RELATIONSHIP

'We Matched' Card

$4.62

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Met your new Valentine on the apps? This sweet, simple, and punny card is a great way to show them you appreciate them and are excited to see where things go next.

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The steady boyfriend, girlfriend or partner

Valentine’s Day could be the perfect time to let your long-term love know just how much they mean to you and how much you’re looking forward to the future. Ideas on what to write include:

Our favorite quote: “Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” — Robert Browning

SIMPLE & TO THE POINT

'Still Not Sick of You' Card

$5.95

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Couples have been spending a lot more time together over the last few years, so it’s no small feat if your relationship made it through! Celebrate that in a tongue-in-cheek way with this card.

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FOR THE CHOCOLATE LOVER

S'mores Card

$6.99

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Tell your significant other that they love them with this adorable illustrated card from Hallmark.

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SWEET & SILLY

Volcano Card

$6.95

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Can you tell we like puns? This volcano-themed card will put a smile on your Valentine’s face. The volcanos even pop off the card to give it that extra pizzazz.

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The life partner

Today’s the day to let your partner know just how much you love and appreciate them. And since you already won them over, you can be as cheesy as you please! Cute quotes and sayings to write on his card include:

Our favorite quote: “I’ve fallen in love many times… always with you.” — author unknown

A FUNNY CARD

'You're the Only One' Card

$6.95

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For the partner who seems to have everything, get them this tongue-in-cheek card. It’ll remind them that your presence is a present (but you should still get them a present).

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ROMANTIC CARD

'I'm Keeping You' Card

$9.99

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Own your feelings this Valentine’s Day and tell the love of your life exactly how much they’ve changed your life with this minimalist card. It’s sweet and genuine without getting too sappy — the perfect combo.

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3D CARD

Paper Roses Card

$12.99

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Instead of sending a bouquet of real flowers, send this beautiful 3D pop-up card. It’ll last longer than flowers anyway.

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And a few bonus Valentine’s Day quotes for the funny couples

MANDALORIAN CARD

Baby Yoda Card

$5.15

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Get this cute Mandalorian card for the Star Wars fan in your life. Your partner or SO will get a kick out of this card.

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WORD-PLAY CARD

Avocado Card

$5.04

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If your SO loves a cheesy joke, a cringe-y pun, or is simply a big fan of avocados (millennials, we’re looking at you), they’ll appreciate this card, which features a funny play-on-words.

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SWIFTIE CARD

For the 'Anti-Hero'

$4.62

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This one’s for the Swiftie in your life. If your Valentine loves pop culture references and all things Taylor, grab this cute “Anti-Hero”-themed card!

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FOR THE DATING-APP BEAU

'Best Thing on the Internet' Card

$5.99

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If you met ‘the one’ online, this heartfelt and funny card is a great choice.

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A version of this article was originally published in January 2014.

Before you go, check out 100 of our favorite vibrators to recommend to friends (which also make excellent Valentine’s Day gifts): 

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

Remember that scene in Broad City when Ilana sees police officers in the subway station, so she stashes her weed in her vagina? She dubs it “nature’s pocket” and it turns out she’s not the only one using this pocket in unexpected ways and putting questionable, non-approved items in her vagina. And no, we’re not just talking about creative household sex toys.

People with vaginas have attempted to smuggle or hide loaded pistols, Rolex watches, marijuana pipes, crack, lighters, money, cellphones, cigarettes, makeup, fireworks (yes, really), alcohol, and a host of other drugs and stolen items in their vag. Of course, few people would actually consider inserting things like loaded guns and fireworks inside their vaginas. (In case there’s any confusion — please don’t.) But sometimes, in an attempt to make things more interesting in the bedroom, some do make questionable decisions about what actually goes in there.

Sure, your vagina can stretch and accommodate quite a few things, but being able to do it doesn’t mean you should. “When considering what is safe to put in the vagina, it’s important to remember that the vagina is a delicate and sensitive part of the body,” Dr. Rakhee Patel, a board-certified OB-GYN with Pinewood Family Care Co. Shape, size, and cleanliness of the object are all things to consider here, because sticking the wrong thing in there can result in a host of health issues, from major injuries and tears in your vaginal canal to infections and irritation… not to speak of the embarrassment at your OB-GYN’s office.

Turns out, the list of approved things to put in your vagina is short and easy to remember.

A penis

Penises are totally allowed to enter mouths, vaginas and buttholes. Just remember to put a condom on it to avoid STIs and unwanted pregnancies. A note: Flavored condoms should only be used for oral sex, as the flavor chemicals can irritate your vaginal lining.

Fingers

Fingers (attached to hands, of course!) also feel pretty good. As long as the person’s nails are trimmed short with sharp corners filed away and kept clean, digits are a good time. You can improve your safe sex practices by washing your hands beforehand (or wearing latex gloves!) and adding lube.

Lubricants

Speaking of lube, there are still lots of myths about lubricants. Oil-based lubes are actually OK, according to Lilly (who goes only by her first time), a sex toy expert and blogger at Dangerous Lilly.

“Synthetic oil-based lubes have been proven to cause vaginal infections in some, but there is much less chance for an interaction when a natural oil is used,” she tells SheKnows. “They shouldn’t be used by anyone relying on latex or polyisoprene condoms for STI and pregnancy protection, though.”

She adds that silicon-based lubricants are actually safe to use and that contrary to popular belief, “many water-based lubes are incompatible with vaginal pH or have irritating ingredients that make some folks more susceptible to vaginal infections and can increase STI transmission.” Note that silicon-based lube shouldn’t be used with silicone sex toys, though, as it can make the toys degrade. You should also avoid using lubes with sugars in them (like scented lubes), as they can also mess with your pH and lead to infection.

Period products

A good rule of thumb is that if an item was “designed specifically for vaginal use,” you can generally assume it’s safe, Patel says. That includes lubes (see above) and period products that go directly in your vagina, such as tampons and menstrual cups or discs. “These items are made with materials and ingredients that are tested for vaginal safety,” Patel explains.

Sex toys

According to statistics, the global adult sex toy market was valued at $32.7 billion in 2022. That’s a lot of satisfied customers using a lot of sex toys… although not all of them are created equal.

Sex toy materials are a complex and wide-ranging topic, but in short, the safest materials are the ones that are considered chemically stable and don’t harbor bacteria and fungi in the pores, Lilly says. This includes silicone, body-safe metal alloys like titanium, aluminum blends, stainless steel, glass and properly sealed ceramic and wood. You also want to make sure you’re cleaning your sex toys (here’s a guide from Lilly) and replacing them if they start looking a little worse for the wear.

There are actually no regulations for sex toy materials, so be wary of claims of “FDA-approved” toys, Lilly notes. Shopping at reputable stores and reading reviews from trustworthy bloggers will help you make good sex toy choices.

Our personal recommendation: anything from celebrity-loved brand LELO, which is known for beautiful and powerful sexual instruments. Their Soraya Wave rabbit vibrator targets both your G-spot and clitoris, has an ergonomic design, and is made of safe and soft silicone.

LELO Soraya Wave Rabbit Vibrator

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Food & select other objects

According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, board-certified OB-GYN and gynecology professor at Columbia University, your main concern when considering items other than penises, fingers, period products, and sex toys is using objects with a smooth, nonporous surface, no sharp edges, no irritants, and nothing that would degrade a condom.

“You want to make sure that whatever you put in, you can completely take out,” she tells SheKnows. “That’s why most food is a problem: It’s difficult to remove it. Peeled bananas, for example.” Other foods to avoid include spicy foods like chili peppers and spreadables like peanut butter. Be aware as well that putting food items in your vagina can “cause infections and irritations,” Patel says.

If you are into temperature play (using hot or cold objects as part of the sexual experience), avoid putting ice directly into your vagina, as it can stick to your delicate skin. Instead, cover it with a condom to create a barrier. Very hot surfaces can also cause damage because “the [vaginal] lining is very delicate and can easily be burned,” Hutcherson adds.

The safest way to play with your food is to put a condom on it. That way, you avoid risks attached to bacteria, irritation or pH imbalances. As long as the item is big enough to be removed, has no sharp or uncomfortable edges, and is not easily breakable (like a large cucumber or squash), you should be fine.

Non-vagina safe items: douches and vaginal washes

Douching or using harsh, scented soaps or vaginal washes are a no-go in your vagina, Patel says, because they can “can disrupt the natural pH and bacterial balance, leading to infections or irritation.” Fun fact: your vagina is self-cleaning, so you really don’t need any extra products down there to do it for you.

Beyond that, remember that any product not specifically designed to go in your vagina really isn’t meant to be in there — so if you’re planning on experimenting with zucchinis in bed, you’ll want to take precautions. And in general, Patel recommends being cautious with what you put in your vagina and prioritizing products specifically designed for vaginal health. “Always read labels and instructions, and when in doubt, consult with a healthcare professional,” she says. “Remember, each person is different, so what works for one might not work for another. It’s essential to listen to your body and seek professional advice if you have concerns or experience discomfort.”

A version of this article was originally published in June 2019.

Want more approved sex toys? Here’s our list of favorites: 

There are all sorts of ways to have sex with all sorts of biological (and store-bought) equipment — and not all of them are about orgasms. That’s just a fact of life. But for many people vaginas (especially those who have sex with cis-men), having an orgasm when they do really want one can be a bit of a challenge. The infamous “orgasm gap” really does exist, says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. “Heterosexual women experience the least amount of orgasms,” she tells SheKnows, explaining that one of the main reasons for the gap is lack of arousal. “There’s a lack of foreplay, lack of mental stimulation, and lack of clitoral stimulation.”

That definitely doesn’t have to be the case, though — in fact, it shouldn’t be, sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “Vulva owners have an entire organ dedicated to experiencing sexual pleasure,” she says, but“historically, a penis owner’s pleasure has been the goal. We see this idea perpetuated in many ways, including through porn.”

Today, though, we’re here to empower you to take charge the next time you and your S.O. are in the bedroom with what experts have determined to be the five best sex positions for a guaranteed orgasm for vagina-owners. “Guarantee” is a big word and, of course, bodies are all different and orgasms are complicated and personal. How and what makes you orgasm “can vary from day to day based on physical, environmental, and energetic factors,” Switzer notes. Generally relaxing (tense muscles are orgasm kryptonite) and exploring your own body and sensitive spots are also helpful. But having a few go-to positions that grind and hit the right parts (clitoris! G-spot!) can do wonders, and make it a lot easier to coach your partner into getting you off. Depending on your tastes and the kind of stimulation that makes you happiest, these are positions that shouldn’t disappoint.

Click through to find out what these positions entail and exactly how to pull them off. You won’t regret it.

A version of this article was originally published in March 2016.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

We love our fancy, high-tech sex toys, but sometimes — for example, when you’re getting a little frisky in the kitchen — there’s just not enough time to run into your bedroom and unearth your favorite paddle or dildo. This is where grabbing a homemade sex toy like a spatula or cucumber might come in handy. Using a household item for sexy things might feel a bit weird at first, but can also be a fun way to spice things up inside and outside of the bedroom, while also being cost-effective.

“A big draw of household items is the budget aspect. Basically, we’re all trying to save money and most of us don’t have hundreds of dollars to spend on sex toys so if we can get creative and save, that’s a big win,” Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app, Taimi, tells SheKnows. “[Household items] can also be fun because often we use a household item rather spontaneously which can add some spice to your sex life. Plus, we’re getting really creative and essentially playing an erotic game with ourselves and our partners when we’re thinking about non-sexual items in a sexy way.”

Another benefit? When you use a regular, household item as a homemade sex toy, you’re injecting a little bit of passion into your everyday life. “Any time that object is seen or used outside of the bedroom, it will spark a memory of the shared sexual exploration,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “This is an epic way to keep the passion alive even during mundane daily chores.”

How to Use Homemade Sex Toys Safely

Before we go through the list, remember that safety and cleanliness are key! Prior to putting any foreign object in your body (including your vagina, mouth, anus, or anywhere else), it must be sanitized and ideally covered with a condom. Otherwise, it could cause irritation or abrasions (not at all sexy, folks). For good measure, get in the habit of cleansing anything you use sexually post-game too. And yes, you should also be cleaning sex toys (and keeping in mind that we have to say goodbye to every good vibe eventually.)

“Our bodies’ natural bacterial balance can easily be thrown off by the foreign bacteria lodged in the crevices of toys or food,” Switzer says. “Be mindful that you clean items thoroughly with a non-scented soap and use condoms on any objects that you use for penetration.” Another bonus of using condoms, Switzer adds, is that they’ll reveal any hidden, sharp edges on the object.

Some of the household sex toys we recommend here aren’t specifically designed for skin contact (think candles, vegetables, and ice). In those cases, “be very mindful about application and use,” Switzer says. “Gently test temperature items on a small area of skin to gauge sensitivity.” If you have any concerns about an object, run it by your ob/gyn (awkward conversation, we know, but better than an infection!) or skip it.

Besides considering the safety and hygiene aspects of using homemade sex toys, ASTROGLIDE’S resident sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly notes that many of the suggestions below involve kinky play, so you’ll want to ensure you’re communicating before, during and after the interaction. “Discuss your desires and boundaries ahead of time. If you’re getting kinky, you may want to select a safe work or safe signal,” she tells SheKnows. “Safe words and safe signals are coded responses that allow you to clearly and immediately communicate your limits and needs.” For example, O’Reilly says, you can snap your fingers or raise your hands to indicate that you are feeling uncomfortable and want to stop. “Safe words and signals should be clearly defined and if you want to stop or have changed your mind about any activity, you shouldn’t hesitate to use yours with the expectation that your partner will respond immediately.”

22 Best Homemade Sex Toys

Keeping that in mind, continue reading to check out some of our favorite homemade sex toys that, if used correctly (and safely), will give you a mind-blowing orgasm and leave you impressed with your own sexual ingenuity. Warning: you might not look at your spatula the same way again.

A version of this story was originally published in August 2017.

You know when you really hit it off with a guy, only to discover once his clothes come off that he’s packing something… interesting? It happens way more often than you think, but it shouldn’t be a reason to run for the door. We’re here to dispel some pervasive myths about penis size and give you the best sex positions for any penis size or shape.

The first thing to know is that penis size is “generally irrelevant to pleasure” for all partners involved, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows. “The vast majority of people are perfectly satisfied with their partner’s penis size.” That’s because good sex has involves a lot more than just the size and shape of your physical attributes. “Satisfying sex is about how you connect with your partner in an intimate way,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. According to one study, only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone, so clearly, Switzer says, “satisfying sex is about way more than penetration.” For example: many orgasms come from stimulating the clitoris, “the most direct route to orgasm for many people” with vaginas, Dr. Jess says; or the prostate, which Dr. Jess calls the “equivalent to the G-spot” and which can be stimulated at “a relatively shallow depth.”

On that note, know that bigger is not necessarily better when it comes to penis size. “As the cliche saying goes: ‘it’s not the size, it’s how you use it’ and that certainly applies to penis size,” Switzer says. The average size of an erection is about five inches, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, which can be a perfectly pleasurable size for many receiving partners. “If you’re having sex with a vagina, it’s unlikely that you need a long penis,” Dr. Jess explains. “The average vaginal canal is around 3.5 inches in an unaroused state. A good fit is far more relevant to pleasure than a longer or thicker penis.” Some receiving partners even find penetrative sex with a large penis to be painful, but know that this doesn’t need to be the case either — we’ll have some comfortable options for larger penises ahead.

When it comes to penetrative sex with a penis, it’s really all about communication and experimentation to find what brings both you and your partner(s) the most pleasure, no matter what size of penis you’re working with. All penises are capable of delivering fantastic orgasms if you know what to do with them, and that’s where we come in. Check out the best, expert-approved sex positions for different penis sizes ahead.

Best sex positions for every penis size

Best sex position for a long penis: Doggy style, missionary, or Yab Yum

Our culture tends to idealize long penises because they penetrate deeper, but for some receiving partners, that kind of depth can be uncomfortable or painful. For longer penises, Dr. Jess and Dr. Tara both recommended doggy style, as the penetrating partner’s butt will provide some natural cushioning to reduce the depth of penetration. (If reducing the depth detracts from your pleasure, Dr. Jess recommended using a donut product like OhNut.) Switzer also recommends missionary and Yab Yum as positions that “utilize the length for pleasure without causing too much intensity.”

Best sex position for a small penis: Cowgirl, lifted missionary, or doggy style

You have a few different options with a smaller penis. Dr. Jess recommends letting the receiving partner ride on top (like in cowgirl) “so that they can control the angle of penetration and depth,” while Dr. Tara suggested lifted missionary — basically missionary but with a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips, “so that it is at an optimum angle for you to insert as deeply as you can.” Some other options, Switzer says, are doggy style and happy baby. “Great ways to give sensations to different angles of the vaginal canal,” she explains. “And honestly, small penises are great to try anal!”

Best sex position for a thin penis: Modified doggy style or lifted missionary

Doggy style is also a good choice for thinner girth, Dr. Tara says. She also recommends cowgirl, which allows the receiving partner to ride the penis and feel their way to the most pleasurable spots. You can also play with G-spot stimulation with the hips-up missionary-style position, says Dr. Jess, where the receiving partner lies on the their back with a pillow propping up their hips and the penetrating partner kneels between their legs to slide in from below.

Best sex position for a thick penis: Scissors or missionary

With a thick penis, look for positions where the receiving partner can spread their legs wide. A closed-legs position can make it “even harder to penetrate,” Dr. Tara explains, “which can be painful” for the receiving partner. Traditional missionary and variations on it, like scissors, can be a good choice here, and Dr. Jess recommends playing with external stimulation by angling the penis to rub against the receiving partner’s clitoral head. In missionary, for example, the penetrating partner should “put your legs on the outside and slide up and down as your slide in and out,” she explains. “This allows them to feel extra friction from your girth while their legs are in between yours.”

For scissors, try lying on your sides facing each other, with your heads at opposite ends of the bed. The penetrating partner puts one leg between the receiving partner’s and penetrates while the receiving partner rolls slightly backward, keeping their pelvis spread wide apart.

Best sex position for a curved penis: Missionary, doggy style, or spooning

This really depends on the curve angle. If it curves up, missionary is best; if it curves down, doggy style. However, if you lilt to the left or right, you might wanted to go for spooning. You both lie on your sides, knees at an almost 90-degree angle. He lifts your legs and penetrates from behind, all the while both pressing your legs together to keep things snug.

A version of this article was originally published in 2015.

Here are 69 (nice) more sex positions we think you should try:

There’s really no right or wrong way to ride a penis, vagina or strap-on — it pretty much comes down to what feels good for you. First of all, forget everything you’ve seen in porn. It doesn’t have to be that complicated, and really, there’s no balancing act or pretzel-twisting postures required. Something as easy as switching up who’s on top — and what they do while they’re up there — can be a great way to mix things up in the bedroom.

I know it sounds simple, but hear me out. While some may consider standard-issue missionary-position sex not so exciting, it’s a go-to for a reason. If you’re on bottom, you have the option of doing nothing while the person on top bumps, writhes, and grinds — a great option for sleepy nights and mornings when you’re feeling a little lazy.

Personally, as a vulva-owning person, being on top is one of my favorite ways to reach orgasm with a penis or strap-on. Sure, it’s a little more work, but when I straddle a partner, it allows me to control the depth, speed, and rhythm of penetration as well as play with my clitoris. Like many women, I need vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation to come. (Here’s your regular reminder that the clitoris is a super-erogenous zone with thousands of nerve endings, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to it during sex.)

Although you may be in the take-charge position on top, be sure to ask your partner for input too. Simple cues like, “Do you prefer it when I do this or that?” can elevate an already sexy experience.

When you’re engaging in sex where one party is on top of the other, there are a number of things you can do to help improve the situation and increase the amount of pleasure you get to experience. We got some sex experts to share seven favorite tips to make the most of being on top.

Keep an eye on pressure & weight

If you are worried about how your body weight differs from your partners while on top, don’t let it stop you from exploring positions that might feel good for you both. Xanet Pailet, a sex and intimacy coach tells SheKnows to try and put your weight on your hands or elbows next to — but not on — your partner’s body. You might find the angle feels even better that way, too.

The butt lift

If you are on top and have strong arms, it’s time to put that strength to use. Try placing your hands under your partner’s butt and lifting them gently during intercourse, Pailet suggests. This action changes the direction of your partner’s pelvis (best for penis-in-vagina, or PIV, penetration) and allows for deeper penetration and more sensation toward the cervix, which could lead to more intense orgasms for the partner with a vagina. This also works really well in the tantric yab yum position, where you are both sitting up facing each other with the receiving partner’s legs draped over the penetrating partner’s.

Easy erogenous zone access

Being on top makes it easy to access so many of your other sensitive erogenous zones, including the nipples and clitoris. When combined with the pleasurable sensation of penis-in-vagina sex, this position can enhance your pleasure (and your orgasm) tenfold, Anne Hodder, a multi-certified sex educator, tells SheKnows. Studies say that for approximately three-quarters of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is necessary in order to reach orgasm during PIV sex, so this position can often help facilitate orgasm in ways that might be difficult in other positions.

Ride ’em, cowboy (or girl)

Another fun top position is the cowboy (person with the vulva sitting straight up over a partner with a penis) and the reverse cowboy (vulva-owner sitting with their butt and back to their partner’s face), Pailet says. Many people with vaginas love these positions because they have more control over the speed and depth of thrusting and can also stimulate their clitoris at the same time. In this position, some people can also maneuver the direction of their partner’s penis to be able to have a G-spot orgasm.

Playing with toys

Knowing how accessible your clitoris will be, feel free to give your or your partner’s hand a break and try using a sex toy to help enhance the sensation, Hodder suggests. Smaller clitoral vibes are great for this; they don’t take up much space and the good ones tend to be quiet and easy to hold. Try getting on top and letting your partner hold the vibe, letting them massage and stimulate you while you focus on getting your balance and rhythm down. It’s a super-fun way to incorporate teamwork into the situation.

One of the best things about missionary sex is that it’s super-simple to do. You can kiss and stare into your partner’s eyes, plus there’s tons of skin-to-skin contact. So, climb on top, rock your hips back and forth and enjoy the ride!

A version of this story was published April 2018.

Before you go, check out 100 vibrators (yes, 100) we’d recommend to all our friends:

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

In the wonderful world of sex and sex positions, there’s getting down and then there’s getting down. For connoisseurs of a good sensual romp — we’re talking about our true believers, scholars, and geeks when it comes to sex and sexuality — there’s always a sexy new position, sensation, or experience to try out with your partners for any occasion (some new sex toys can heat things up too). There are plenty of ways to make sure that no two nights in are exactly the same, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner or two.

Don’t get us wrong; we’re always down for a casual quickie or some moderately augmented missionary to give a quick O, but why not branch out and take things to a whole new level? After all, your sex life is a living, breathing and evolving thing that deserves a bit of TLC to keep you and your partner(s) entertained and satisfied. Sometimes all it takes is a brand-spanking-new position to get the party started and to reignite some important conversations about what feels best in the act. (And remember, it’s okay if those things change or if you just want to test something out!) Speaking of spankings, you can throw one of those in for good measure too, if that’s what you’re into.

We also know you’re busy and you don’t want to waste that precious alone time researching impossible pretzel-like contortions to try out (though workout recovery can double as sex recovery if your back is paying for your creativity and ambition in the bedroom).

So to help inject some creativity into your sex life, we’ve compiled 69 fun positions we think you should try ASAP (along with some sweet and guaranteed-to-please old faves). Ironically, good old-fashioned 69 isn’t on this list — but don’t worry, we’ve got a separate run-down of different ways to 69, too.

So here you go: 69 (nice) sex positions to try out. Be safe, be smart, and have fun!

A version of this story was originally published in July 2016. 

Do you remember that almost loopy feeling of spending the night with a new partner for the first time? If only we could bottle up that emotion of the post-sex cuddle, we would. 

But what exactly is it that happens to our brains after sex? Is it possible to be not that into someone emotionally, and then after having sex with them feel a strong sense of attachment? There may be times where we confuse feelings of lust or love in the heat of the moment. Regardless, there is something going on in the brain when we are physical with another person that can cause this shift

We asked a few experts to find out the real reasons you may be feeling more attached, attracted, or “in love” with someone after you’ve had a sexual interaction.

Blame it on the hormones.

When we are intimate with someone, oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone” is released into the body “during intercourse and other forms intimacy,” Dr. Sal Raichbach, a psychologist and licensed clinical social worker, tells SheKnows, adding that oxytocin is linked to “positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust and loyalty.”

Studies have also shown that oxytocin peaks during orgasm, so if it’s an intense sex session where you cross the finish line, you might feel an even stronger bond with the person you shared the sex with.

It’s only natural we associate those good feelings with the person we shared them with and we are left wanting more of them. This may be why we start thinking of someone more after we share a passionate time with them, even if it was quick— we want more of that feeling.

Feelings of attachment are not from sex alone.

The good news is that it doesn’t take penis-in-vagina intercourse to produce oxytocin.

“Oxytocin is released in a variety of activities, from seeing our dog to getting or giving a massage, playing team sports, giving birth, or seeing the color blue,” Dr. Lauren Brim, sex educator and author of The New Rules of Sex, tells SheKnows.

Brim goes on to explain that a strong bond between two people or feelings of attachment for one person can happen during other kinds of intimacy as well, “which is why we can feel like we’ve fallen in love with someone we’ve only ever spoken with once,” she says. A hug or touch can influence some of those same types of feelings.

Intimacy is where it’s at.

It’s also important to remember that having sex under any condition will not automatically release oxytocin or make you feel connected to your partner. For example, Brim points out victims of sexual assault don’t have feelings of attachment for their abusers nor can having regular sex in an unhappy marriage “fix” the relationship or make you fall in love again.

While sex can deepen an existing bond between two people, the thing that makes us feel attached is the “intimacy of the experience and the innate chemistry of the partners,” she says. Things like looking into each other’s eyes or sharing personal stories with another can create the same type of bond.

“As social creatures, we are designed to bond through a variety of activities, but the sex often creates a sense that we should form a relationship with the person because society has designated that as part of our social sexual script,” Brim adds.

Brim also notes that people are responding to sex the way we’ve been conditioned to respond. For example, “if we’re told a story that men were ‘needy’ after sex and women were the ‘sexually promiscuous’ ones, then that would be the reality,” which may very well be why some people subscribe to the narrative that they are more attached or have developed deeper feelings for someone after they have had sexual intercourse.

Perhaps the next time you are wondering if you are in love or even have feelings for someone after being intimate with them, ask yourself if you just liked the experience and the feelings you had when you were having sex (including when you were kissing and touching) or if you think you experienced a type of intimacy on a different level and are experiencing deeper feeling for other reasons.

Like most things in life, there is no instant formula for having feelings for someone — with or without having sex. But keeping things in mind like the effect of hormones may help to explain why you suddenly become really into someone after being intimate.

A version of this story was published June 2018.

Before you go, check out our bucket list of 69 (nice) sex positions to try: 

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