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It’s now 2024, people — why is masturbation still a taboo topic? We’re all for self-love — whether it’s during May (Happy Masturbation Month!) or every other month of the year. There’s nothing wrong with being your own best lover, and no one knows it better than these celebrity women who’ve spoken up about masturbation.

Honestly, masturbating every day is healthy. It’s good for married people. It’s good for single people. It’s good for all people. And that’s why we love it when people, especially famous people, aren’t afraid to talk about it. We don’t need celebrities to tell us masturbation is great, but we love it when they’re not afraid to spread the word about it. After all, the more we all normalize and de-stigmatize masturbation, the more we’ll have a culturally positive and informed approach to pleasure (which makes all sex better too!)

From Chelsea Handler (who’d rather masturbate than meditate) to Jada Pinkett Smith (who talked about the topic with her mom and daughter) to Billie Eilish and more, these celebrities have all gotten real about the importance of self-pleasure.

Read on, and then see if you don’t get inspired by these six masturbation positions that prove you don’t need a partner to have a good time.

A version of this story originally appeared in 2016.

Maybe you want to learn more about sex. Maybe you’re nervous talking about sex, so you want to listen to other people talk about sex. Maybe you’re looking for sex tips, relatable stories, or just something entertaining and spicy to listen to in your downtime. Whatever the reason, tuning into a podcast about sex is a great starting point when it comes to igniting your own personal sex life. As we know by now, podcasts are an excellent – and intimate – medium when it comes to education, so why not educate yourself on becoming more intimate with yourself and/or your partner(s) by listening to a podcast about sex?

And if you’re worried about things getting awkward, never fear. Most of these sex podcasts are like listening to some wise, knowledgable, and relatable friends, so it’ll be hard to feel anything but amused and maybe slightly aroused by their discussions. The podcasts below include all sorts of engaging conversations with sexperts, psychologists, couples, and more, about everything from foreplay and intercourse to self-pleasure, fetishes, kinks, and common bedroom struggles. No matter what tickles your fancy, you’ll be sure to walk away with some toe-curling insight and tips for your next sex session. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

(PS: If you’re looking for podcasts about relationships or erotic podcasts designed to titillate, we’ve got you covered.)

Now that we’ve firmly exited that hyped-up, hyper-active Sagittarius part of winter (anyone else tired? I’m tired), it’s time to celebrate the vibes of Capricorn and all they can do for you in your sex life. So gear up and direct your square-pupilled goat gaze on the prize. And this season in particular, as you think and reflect on things you’ve done and things (and people) you want to do, it’s fine if you’re feeling a bit bossy and in the mood to get what you want.

When is Capricorn season in 2023?

This year, Capricorn season extends from Dec. 22, 2023 to Jan. 19, 2024, and we get to look forward to Mercury being in retrograde for the first part of it. (RIP.) While Capricorn energy “is all about getting stuff done and focusing on our goals,” the Mercury retrograde means that “instead of pushing forward, we will be focusing on reviewing our overall life strategy,” Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows.

Luckily, we’ll be getting some celestial help during this time. Between Dec. 21 and Dec. 31, “Jupiter—the planet of luck and optimism—will be very active,” Montúfar explains, which means we’ll “be able to distinguish which paths of opportunity will be available to us.”

Capricorn traits: Determined go-getters

The thing to know about Capricorns is that they just get things done. As a Libra, I try my best to understand the merits of all Zodiac signs and their seasons and energies, even those that don’t always make sense to me personally. Decisive and efficient, the world is a to-do list that they’re going to finish for Capricorns. They’re just like that. A friend of mine dated a Capricorn once who realized she had a broken shower head and showed up one day to just replace it. Just like saw a thing to be done, did it with confidence and rolled on by. (I cannot relate but love that for them, TBH.)

As we say in all of our zodiac sex tips, every sign works with a different season/planet differently and works differently in your chart! Your personal birth chart (calculated via birth date, location and time) contains all sorts of diverse parts of your you-ness that make up your specific personality. So be sure to check your sun sign, your moon sign and your ascendant/rising sign (think: your ego, who you are when you’re alone on a deep personal level and the mask you wear/how others see you), as well as your other prominent planets out for a full zodiac picture (Mars and Venus are always interesting in the realm of sex and relationships!) — and you might benefit from a sit down with an astrologer to go over your chart and get an understanding of how well you play with other signs. It can be a really special and transformative experience!

Capricorn season sex tip: It’s time to take charge

With what we know about Capricorns — they like running the show and doing what/who they came to do (and more importantly doing ’em well) — we think it’s a fine time to embrace your bossy side or encourage it in your partner. “Capricorn energy is stoic and incredibly focused on doing anything as best as possible, and that includes sex,” Montúfar says. “This is a take-charge kind of energy, calling for one person to take the lead and the other one to fully surrender!” If you happen to find yourself on a Capricorn’s to-do list or simply want to embrace that energy in bed this season, keep reading.

In the bedroom this can most obviously take the form of leaning into kinky power play, in one form or another. “If there is ever a time to try having sex tied up, it is now during Capricorn season,” Montúfar says. “It allows for a full-on surrender, take-charge dynamic, satisfying the ambitious and authoritarian vibe of the season. Trading places is recommended for both parties to feel the sense of empowerment this can bring!”

Embracing your dominant side (or submissive side) can also teach you a lot about the things that get you both excited and make you feel valued and cared for. Maybe try setting out a rule or two for the encounter, introduce some restraints or simply put the planning firmly in one of your hands (and heads) for the day. (Do not underestimate how hot a creative, thorough and well-executed plan can be, folks!)

Montúfar also recommends positions like seated face-to-face to deepen your connection and embrace the open energy of Capricorn season. This position “sets us up for staring at each other’s eyes, helping us warm things up and better read what the other one of feeling and enjoying,” she explains.

You can also try exciting positions like hot seat (the penetrating partner lies back with their legs and feet off the bed, and the receiving partner sits on top), or desk domination, where the penetrating partner stands and the receiving partner lies back on a desk or table. Hot seat “allows the receiving partner to be in control of the depth, angle, and rate of penetration,” Montúfar explains, while desk domination “allows for the receiver to totally surrender, leaving the giver in complete charge!”

There are also couple of dates to be aware of this season. The first is Jan. 12, when Jupiter magnifies the energy of Mars, the planet of sex and drive. “Plan a hot date,” Montúfar suggests. “Tonight, our stamina reaches climax, so make the best of it!”

Then, between Jan. 14 and Jan. 19, Pluto — known as “one of the kinkiest planets,” Montúfar says — will be “incredibly active.” She explains, “Pluto’s penetrating energy gives us X-ray vision, allowing us to figure out the other person’s truest and deepest desires. This will be a time in which a lot of us will be pushing our own boundaries in bed, as our need to connect at a deeper level will be present and almost insatiable. Think of long, slow, and deep movements as well as make-out sessions!”

Capricorns are all about taking charge, so lean into that energy in whatever way it resonates for you. If it means getting on top and introducing some power play into your sex life, go for it; if it means initiating sex or showing your partner it’s a priority to you, that’s great too. (Knowing your partner prioritizes your one-on-one time is incredibly sexy, after all.) If you embody the Capricorn energy, moving intentionally and confidently toward your goal (pleasure for yourself and your partner), you’ll find that there’s something undeniably hot about that determination.

A version of this post was originally published in 2021.

Before you go, check out 69 of our favorite sex positions to add to your bucket list: 

There are all sorts of ways to have sex with all sorts of biological (and store-bought) equipment — and not all of them are about orgasms. That’s just a fact of life. But for many people vaginas (especially those who have sex with cis-men), having an orgasm when they do really want one can be a bit of a challenge. The infamous “orgasm gap” really does exist, says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. “Heterosexual women experience the least amount of orgasms,” she tells SheKnows, explaining that one of the main reasons for the gap is lack of arousal. “There’s a lack of foreplay, lack of mental stimulation, and lack of clitoral stimulation.”

That definitely doesn’t have to be the case, though — in fact, it shouldn’t be, sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “Vulva owners have an entire organ dedicated to experiencing sexual pleasure,” she says, but“historically, a penis owner’s pleasure has been the goal. We see this idea perpetuated in many ways, including through porn.”

Today, though, we’re here to empower you to take charge the next time you and your S.O. are in the bedroom with what experts have determined to be the five best sex positions for a guaranteed orgasm for vagina-owners. “Guarantee” is a big word and, of course, bodies are all different and orgasms are complicated and personal. How and what makes you orgasm “can vary from day to day based on physical, environmental, and energetic factors,” Switzer notes. Generally relaxing (tense muscles are orgasm kryptonite) and exploring your own body and sensitive spots are also helpful. But having a few go-to positions that grind and hit the right parts (clitoris! G-spot!) can do wonders, and make it a lot easier to coach your partner into getting you off. Depending on your tastes and the kind of stimulation that makes you happiest, these are positions that shouldn’t disappoint.

Click through to find out what these positions entail and exactly how to pull them off. You won’t regret it.

A version of this article was originally published in March 2016.

You know when you really hit it off with a guy, only to discover once his clothes come off that he’s packing something… interesting? It happens way more often than you think, but it shouldn’t be a reason to run for the door. We’re here to dispel some pervasive myths about penis size and give you the best sex positions for any penis size or shape.

The first thing to know is that penis size is “generally irrelevant to pleasure” for all partners involved, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows. “The vast majority of people are perfectly satisfied with their partner’s penis size.” That’s because good sex has involves a lot more than just the size and shape of your physical attributes. “Satisfying sex is about how you connect with your partner in an intimate way,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. According to one study, only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone, so clearly, Switzer says, “satisfying sex is about way more than penetration.” For example: many orgasms come from stimulating the clitoris, “the most direct route to orgasm for many people” with vaginas, Dr. Jess says; or the prostate, which Dr. Jess calls the “equivalent to the G-spot” and which can be stimulated at “a relatively shallow depth.”

On that note, know that bigger is not necessarily better when it comes to penis size. “As the cliche saying goes: ‘it’s not the size, it’s how you use it’ and that certainly applies to penis size,” Switzer says. The average size of an erection is about five inches, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, which can be a perfectly pleasurable size for many receiving partners. “If you’re having sex with a vagina, it’s unlikely that you need a long penis,” Dr. Jess explains. “The average vaginal canal is around 3.5 inches in an unaroused state. A good fit is far more relevant to pleasure than a longer or thicker penis.” Some receiving partners even find penetrative sex with a large penis to be painful, but know that this doesn’t need to be the case either — we’ll have some comfortable options for larger penises ahead.

When it comes to penetrative sex with a penis, it’s really all about communication and experimentation to find what brings both you and your partner(s) the most pleasure, no matter what size of penis you’re working with. All penises are capable of delivering fantastic orgasms if you know what to do with them, and that’s where we come in. Check out the best, expert-approved sex positions for different penis sizes ahead.

Best sex positions for every penis size

Best sex position for a long penis: Doggy style, missionary, or Yab Yum

Our culture tends to idealize long penises because they penetrate deeper, but for some receiving partners, that kind of depth can be uncomfortable or painful. For longer penises, Dr. Jess and Dr. Tara both recommended doggy style, as the penetrating partner’s butt will provide some natural cushioning to reduce the depth of penetration. (If reducing the depth detracts from your pleasure, Dr. Jess recommended using a donut product like OhNut.) Switzer also recommends missionary and Yab Yum as positions that “utilize the length for pleasure without causing too much intensity.”

Best sex position for a small penis: Cowgirl, lifted missionary, or doggy style

You have a few different options with a smaller penis. Dr. Jess recommends letting the receiving partner ride on top (like in cowgirl) “so that they can control the angle of penetration and depth,” while Dr. Tara suggested lifted missionary — basically missionary but with a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips, “so that it is at an optimum angle for you to insert as deeply as you can.” Some other options, Switzer says, are doggy style and happy baby. “Great ways to give sensations to different angles of the vaginal canal,” she explains. “And honestly, small penises are great to try anal!”

Best sex position for a thin penis: Modified doggy style or lifted missionary

Doggy style is also a good choice for thinner girth, Dr. Tara says. She also recommends cowgirl, which allows the receiving partner to ride the penis and feel their way to the most pleasurable spots. You can also play with G-spot stimulation with the hips-up missionary-style position, says Dr. Jess, where the receiving partner lies on the their back with a pillow propping up their hips and the penetrating partner kneels between their legs to slide in from below.

Best sex position for a thick penis: Scissors or missionary

With a thick penis, look for positions where the receiving partner can spread their legs wide. A closed-legs position can make it “even harder to penetrate,” Dr. Tara explains, “which can be painful” for the receiving partner. Traditional missionary and variations on it, like scissors, can be a good choice here, and Dr. Jess recommends playing with external stimulation by angling the penis to rub against the receiving partner’s clitoral head. In missionary, for example, the penetrating partner should “put your legs on the outside and slide up and down as your slide in and out,” she explains. “This allows them to feel extra friction from your girth while their legs are in between yours.”

For scissors, try lying on your sides facing each other, with your heads at opposite ends of the bed. The penetrating partner puts one leg between the receiving partner’s and penetrates while the receiving partner rolls slightly backward, keeping their pelvis spread wide apart.

Best sex position for a curved penis: Missionary, doggy style, or spooning

This really depends on the curve angle. If it curves up, missionary is best; if it curves down, doggy style. However, if you lilt to the left or right, you might wanted to go for spooning. You both lie on your sides, knees at an almost 90-degree angle. He lifts your legs and penetrates from behind, all the while both pressing your legs together to keep things snug.

A version of this article was originally published in 2015.

Here are 69 (nice) more sex positions we think you should try:

It’s one of the biggest debates in sexual pleasure: Is there a G-spot or isn’t there? Science hasn’t quite reached a definitive conclusion, though recent studies have found evidence of its existence, and personally, we’re believers. If you’re not, or aren’t sure where your G-spot even is, let alone how to stimulate it — you’ve come to the right place for G-spot sex positions and everything else to know about this erogenous zone.

For those who don’t know, the G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, is that magical area located about an inch inside the vaginal opening on the anterior (front) upper wall, closest to your tummy. When stimulated through penetrative sex or play, this almond-size zone swells and becomes tingly. It’s important to note that the G-spot is “the whole zone of the top of the vaginal wall, which is basically a part of the clitoral network,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara),  PhD, a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. The G-spot is essentially “the backside of your clit,” she tells SheKnows, noting that the term “G-spot” might be misleading, as it can be a larger area (more like a zone). And it’s not necessarily a pleasure center for everyone. “This area has a ‘hit or miss’ vibe to it,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “Some find stimulating this area uncomfortable or unpleasant and others may experience an increase in lubrication, intense orgasms, and/or ejaculation (aka squirting).”

Sex or sex toys that hit the G-spot can feel incredible for some people and not-so-great (or like nothing at all) for others, so if it’s something you want to explore, Switzer recommends taking things slow. “Although it can feel pleasurable with firm or intense stimulation, for the best experience, this area should be approached slowly, gently, and gradually increasing in intensity,” she explains. And if you don’t end up feeling much, that’s OK too — there are plenty of ways to have hot sex that don’t emphasize the G-spot. “Some people experience it as erogenous and some do not — just like some of us enjoy having our feet rubbed and others find foot rubs annoying,” Jess O’Reilly (aka Dr. Jess), PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows.

Since the G-spot is relatively shallow (not deep in the vagina), per Dr. Jess, stimulating it through sex is all about finding the right positions to illicit that delicious sensation. We consulted the experts to find the best positions for stimulating your G-spot, so if you’re interested in trying to see if you can squirt or really like the feeling of penetration, these positions will totally be your vibe. (Pro tip: use toys to truly level-up the experience.)

As with all sex and sexual positions, be sure to give your partner plenty of feedback and modify the positions as needed. With that said, here are six sex positions that encourage just the right angle, depth and control for mind-blowing G-spot orgasms.

A version of this story was published October 2018.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

The passionate, mysterious vibes of Scorpio season have come and gone, and we head into the final sign of our the calendar year: Sagittarius. The archer and adventurer, Sags are known for wanting more — intellectually, physically, you name it. Ruled by Jupiter (think big! happy! optimistic and ambitious), your friendly neighborhood Sagittarius isn’t one to lay back and enjoy the ride in their relationships. Instead, they want explosive physical and emotional chemistry and adventurous partners that can keep up with them.

“Sagittarius season is all about embracing life’s pleasures,” Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows. Scorpio season “was all about leaving behind what no longer served us by practicing radical transformation,” she says; now Sagittarius season is here, reminding us to “bask in the glory of the results that come from taking that plunge.”

Sagittarius season is the time to lean into the “go big or go home” mindset. “As the last fire sign of the zodiac, the sign of the Archer does nothing halfway!” Montúfar says. “Whatever it does, it does so with excitement and gusto. Out of the entire year, the month ruled by Sagittarius inspires us to think big, explore, and see all the possibilities that lie ahead of us. It is a wonderful time to learn, travel, and bring people together.”

As we frequently note, every sign plays with a different season and planet differently! Your chart is chock full o’ cosmic knowledge and traits that make up your specific personality. So be sure to check your sun sign, your moon sign and your ascendant/rising sign, as well as your other prominent planets out for a full zodiac picture (Mars and Venus are always interesting in the realm of sex and relationships!). You might even benefit from a sit down with an astrologer to go over your chart and get an understanding of how well you play with other signs.

But, in the meantime, if you want to ride out Sagittarius season with a bang and some whimpers, we’re recommending you channel your inner adventurer, pump up your energy, and seek out some exciting, active, and athletic sex positions.

Sorry my lovely starfish friends, this isn’t your time. (Save those pillow princess vibes for Taurus season!) Instead, try embracing the full range of motions you and your partner have at your disposal to aggressively and enthusiastically seek out the kind of pleasure you want and need. You may roll out of bed later with sore thighs or feeling like you did a few too many planks, but the shared experience of working some sexy aggression out together is powerful one.

Montúfar recommends a couple specific sex positions to bring in that exciting, athletic Sag energy:

Mopping: the receiving partner places their hands on the floor and lifts their hips (think downward dog, but with your legs as bent as needed!) while the penetrating partner enters them from behind. “This playful position allows for deep penetration, which totally resonates with the Sagittarian mantra,” Montúfar says (go big or go home!). “Since it’s also a position that does not require a bed, it makes room for the spontaneous vibe of the season.”

Expanding: the receiving partner lies in a spooning position in front of the penetrating partner, lifting and lowering their top leg as desired to play with the depth of penetration. This one works for Sag season because “‘Expansion’ is one of the keywords for both Jupiter and Sagittarius,” Montúfar explains. “What’s fun about this position is that it brings attention to the areas that never get it.” While it may not seem exciting at first, “it totally is — especially for the receiver!”

The Golden Arch: the receiving partner sits on top of the penetrating partner, facing them, with their legs on the penetrating partner’s legs or their ankles on their shoulders. This is the definition of an athletic sex position; you’ll work your triceps and shoulders while allowing for eye-to-eye contact, “which can be very exciting — just like Sagittarian energy,” Montúfar reminds us. “Unlike the energy of other zodiac signs, Sagittarius inspires us to stay present in the moments and truly connect with the other person while having sex.”

Of course, everyone has a different definition of what’s “exciting” in the bedroom. The idea is to simply get out of your comfort zone, whatever that looks like for you, while knowing that the strong Sagittarius energy of this season will support you through it.

“Be adventurous and take risks! If you’ve always wanted to have a threesome or [try] sex in public, this might be the season that inspires you to try it,” Montúfar says. “Sagittarius season is the time of the year in which we have more openness to trying new things. How do you know you’ve never liked it if you’ve never tried it?”

Carry that attitude through the rest of the year, in and out of the bedroom, and just see where it takes you. And don’t worry: You can always cool down with some sleepy, lazy sex later. You’ll have earned it.

A version of this post was originally published in 2020.

Before you go, check out 69 of our favorite sex positions to add to your bucket list: 

Winter can be a major bummer. Between the minimal daylight hours, the cold and the often-gray weather, it’s hard to get motivated to leave the house. Hard to go out with friends. Hard to get to the gym. Life gets boring! It’s no wonder so many of us wait for spring with bated breath to start living our lives again. And sometimes our sex lives feel like they need to thaw out too.

But winter doesn’t have to be all bad news. You could, for example, use winter as a springboard to reinvigorate your intimate life and have some seriously good sex. I know, I know. It sounds a little silly — like, no, I want to hibernate and carb-load, thanks. But think about it. Sex gets your heart rate up, it keeps you warm, and can easily be done once the sun has gone down — and it can provide some much-needed endorphins when the inevitable winter blues strike.

To get started, we put together some fun and exciting (but reasonable and attainable for people who aren’t double-jointed) sex positions to get you out of your winter rut. These positions are just enticing enough to keep things interesting without feeling like you have to become a contortionist. They should feel good — really good — but even if they don’t lead you to new heights of orgasm, you might get a few good laughs trying. Test them out and start actually looking forward to those long winter nights.

As October comes to a close, we blow a sweet goodbye kiss to Libra season and prepare for some intense, emotional shadow work as the sun enters Scorpio. Ruled by Pluto (yes, planet of the underworld), Scorpios have a reputation for being sulky, intimidating, mysterious, intense — very much the hot goth of the zodiac. 

“Scorpio is an intense zodiac sign, powerful and seductive,” the Astro Twins write about Scorpio’s energy. Scorpios can be powerful, magnetic, passionate, and charismatic — but they can also tend towards obsession, possessiveness, and jealousy. On top of that, Scorpios are definitely one of the more secretive signs, while also yearning for the day they don’t have to hold on to those secrets and can become fully, emotionally intimate and vulnerable.

“t takes a lot for Scorpio to reveal their vulnerability, so guard that privilege with the utmost care,” the Astro Twins write.

That said, Scorpios are definitely down to help you explore the darker side of your emotions or sexuality. They love a healthy sex life and are interested in sharing it with the person (or people) who earn their trust.

And during Scorpio season, everyone can get in on the sparks. “Remember, Scorpio is the sign of privacy,” Ophira Edut of the Astro Twins tells SheKnows. “As long as it’s consensual, what happens between the two (or however many) of you can stay in the circle of trust—and should!”

So in the spirit of getting touch with that deep, gooey, mysterious center that we all have (Scorpios just revel in it a bit more!), we’re humbly proposing you incorporate some sex magic into your bedroom as this season’s special sex tip. 

Is it woo-woo? Yes. Will you maybe feel goofy at worst, or like Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic at best? Also, yes.

So, for background, sex magic (or often “magick”) refers to the centuries old practice of using and harnessing the energy manifested during sex and orgasm—  and the intentions you can set and zero in on when you honor the mind and body during sex. It can range from actual rituals — charging sex magic tools, drawing symbols on your bodies — to just juicing up your normal sex life with a bit of crystal, spiritual energy. But, really, there can be magic and ritual wherever there’s intention, focus, and a willingness to embrace the intensity. 

Not sure what sex magic might look like in your life? It can be as simple as meditation before masturbation, introducing yourself or your partners to tantric sex, journaling about your fantasies and the things you want and need, lighting candles, charging your sex toys and your crystals while you masturbate (check for a full moon too for extra power!), or even using a witchy-inspired sex toy. For me, I like to use my tarot cards (paired with some critical self-reflection and exploration) to help get my brain into the best place for using sexual energy. 

So this Scorpio season, embrace the ritual — the quiet, intense moments where you can connect with your body and spirit (and/or your partner’s body and spirit) — and let yourself embrace the power that comes from pleasure. We’re sure you’ll feel a bit more magical. 

A version of this article was originally published in 2022.

Before you go, check out our 69 (nice) sex positions to try before you die: 

We all love a good orgasm. But when it comes to partnered sex — particularly penetrative intercourse — there’s a real split in who is most consistently getting them via their partner (though couples sex toys are always a great teammate and not competition in this regard!). So what exactly are the best sex positions for orgasm, especially for those of us with vaginas?

First thing to know: don’t believe all the hype and myths from movies, porn, and TV. Orgasms for folks with vulvas aren’t an easy get through penetration alone, nor are they so elusive and complicated that they aren’t worth trying for. In reality, surveys say only about 57 percent of us are climaxing every time we have sex, and that’s usually when a form of stimulation other than penetration is involved. In fact, according to a 2017 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 37 percent of American women required clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm, and only 18 percent (!) of women said they were able to come on vaginal penetration alone.

The bottom line? Most vagina-owners aren’t having effortless, screaming orgasms every time we hook up and the same old sex positions aren’t really cutting it for closing the orgasm gap. If you and your partner haven’t yet cracked the code to your orgasm together, don’t fear. With experimentation and communication, you can absolutely get there.

Of course, orgasm is not the goal of sex, but that doesn’t mean we should give up trying to have the best, most mind-blowing sex possible. We just need to get a little creative with our positions and technique to ensure that the right parts are getting stimulation at the right time (and for the right amount of time).

If you’re wondering where to start, you’ve come to the right place. We asked the experts (or should we say sexperts) for the best clitoris-loving sex positions that can help make the situation ideal for mind-blowing orgasms. Check out these eight must-try positions and thank us later.

Editor’s note: We at SheKnows recognize that not every person with a penis is a man and not every person with a vagina is a woman. In this article, the experts and sources we spoke to generally refer to the penetrating partner as a man and the receiving partner as a woman.

The butterfly position or modified missionary

The height difference in this position does amazing things. “With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing,” Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD, a psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy, tells SheKnows. “She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upward. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation, with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot.”

Modified coital alignment technique

Like missionary, but looking for a little more stimulation? This position is for you. “A couple starts off in missionary position,” says Dr. Castellanos. “Once a man penetrates a woman deeply, he allows her to bring her legs together between his. He then shifts his weight slightly forward so that the shaft of his erection is producing firm pressure and friction on her clitoris as he moves. This works very well for women that prefer to have clitoral stimulation during penetration to reach a very powerful orgasm.”

The countertop

Spontaneity can seriously amp up your sex drive and push you toward orgasm. Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of the now-closed Bedroom Matters, tells SheKnows this is her favorite position. “It’s when the woman is lying on her back on the counter or table while he enters standing. It’s rough,” says Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of the now-closed Bedroom Matters. “There’s pushing aside of papers, pepper shakers, which add to the sense of urgency and inappropriateness. It’s easy to maneuver and move the woman to slide along the counter. There is still contact. He goes deep and feels in control. It works all the way around. The keys are clothing, stuff in the way, and being in an open space. Still allows for connection while feeling dirty. It just works on so many levels. It’s not about acrobats. It’s about context.”

The seated scissors

“This position allows the woman to have the control in order to determine the depth and angle of penetration as well as how much clitoral stimulation she gets,” says Dr. Castellanos. “With the man lying flat on his back and his knees bent, she straddles him with one leg to the side of his hip and the other leg between his legs. The woman can then find just the right spot to grind against his pubic bone with him inside her. She controls the pace, the depth and the amount of pressure and friction she receives. This is definitely a prescription for mind-blowing sex!”

Get off, stand up

“I’m no [pro], but whenever I’ve had sex standing up and holding my partner in the air or up against the wall, it’s been mind-blowing for both of us,” says Jim, an experienced heterosexual male. “I suspect it taps into some of our innate gender differences — the strong man and the small woman — which, in turn, heightens the sexual experience. It also forces us to be in a full embrace, which furthers the emotional connection as well as our physical one. It’s physically demanding and not for all couples, but for those that can, it’s highly recommended.”

Uncloaking the clit

We know the clitoris is powerful, but sometimes it needs a little encouragment to come out and play. “Given a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse to catch the ‘O’ train,” Jaiya, a sexologist, filmmaker, and founder of the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough tells SheKnows. Luckily, some simple techniques can change that. “Form a ‘V’ with your index and middle fingers, and point your fingers toward your feet,” Jaiya says. “Press this ‘V’ onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then pull up, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action.”

Pushing tush

With the penetrating partner is on top, the receiving partner’s hands are free for some anal play and exploration. “If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands, and grab both cheeks,” says Jaiya. “From there, you can do ‘butt yoga’ (a technique whereby you spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down, then vice versa) or ‘anal yoga’ (a technique whereby you place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus, then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down). If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper.”

Happy scissors

There’s a lot more you can do with hands during sex beyond just touching and rubbing. “Heating up hot spots aren’t your hands-only talents,” says Jaiya. “They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse, raise your legs, then have your man hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 80 degrees — the options are endless. And since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both. Talk about getting a leg up on a little variety!”

A version of this article was originally published in February 2010.

Before you go, read up on the 69 sex positions we have on our bucket list:

Alright, so you’ve made it through the productivity gauntlet of Virgo season (probably several spreadsheets wiser) and now you take the sweet steps into the curated autumnal party of Libra season. Ruled by Venus, Libra is an air sign’s air sign. Bringing forth lively intellectual conversation, a sense for aesthetics, and a gut-level need for harmony and justice, Libra season (which runs from Sept. 23 to Oct. 23) invites you to fall in love a lot (and to make everyone else fall in love with you on the way down) and to take and give in the way that feels right for you. Which brings us to the most glorious give-and-take sex position: 69.

A position known for being a punchline (and the nicest number), 69 can feel a bit busy and all over the place. You’re trying to do your thing with your mouth and enjoy all the wonders of your partner doing their best on you — all while managing your limbs and technique to make sure no one gets a knee to the face or an elbow to the stomach. But even if you prefer taking turns, the spirit of 69 is all about reciprocity and mutually pleasurable sex.

And finding that sweet balance between giving and receiving, loving and being loved and enjoying and being enjoyed — that’s a big Libra season mood.

“Libra is the sign of balance, so the 69 position is ideal for harnessing the concept of fairness and alignment between two people,” Narayana Monúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows. “With this fun position, both sides are giving attention and receiving the same amount of attention, evening out the scales of pleasure!” Plus, 69 is a super-inclusive position that works for any sexuality or gender identity. “Anyone can try it — and Libra energy loves that, as this lovey-dovey sign is all about equality,” Monúfar explains.

Libra season in general is an exciting time for relationships, which completely makes sense — Libra is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love and pleasure, after all. Monúfar describes Libra season as a time for seeking true connection and “one of the best seasons of the year to make new friends and seek light-hearted fun.”

And when it comes to relationships, Libra season in 2023 will be quite something. “The last eclipse season of the year arrives now, with the Ring of Fire new moon solar eclipse happening in Libra on October 14,” Monúfar says. Eclipses tend to open and close doors, mixing past and present and future all together, so “we should expect to see a lot of movement in all our relationships this Libra season,” she explains.

For sex specifically, that makes this season the perfect time to experiment. “For those who are interested in going beyond 69 and exploring new kinks, this is your month!” Monúfar confirms. “Mars — the planet of sex and drive — will be very active in the sky all month, reminding us that our sex life is just another area of life that needs maintenance and attention.”

Of course, while you’re having all this sexy, 69 fun, remember that the crucial tenet of Libra is balance. “Relationships are mirrors,” Monúfar says. “When we dislike something about someone, there is something about ourselves that needs work. Similarly, when we are able to see a quality or a gift in another person, we have the capability of showing the same traits.”

In relationships of all kinds, a sense of balance between yourself and your partner is invaluable — as well as the wisdom to know when you need to restore that balance a little. It means you’ve got the sense to listen, to try and understand their wants and needs and provide as well as be let yourself be provided for (emotionally, physically, whatever). So even if you aren’t going forth and engaging in fun mutual orgasms (even if oral’s not for everyone — you can always just play with toys) it helps to think about the things you can do, big and small, to find what that sense of balance looks like for you and your partner.

And, in true Libra season fashion, you’re sure to find that balance pretty damn beautiful.

A version of this article was originally published in September 2022.

Before you go, check out our 69 (nice) sex positions to try before you die: 

There’s really no right or wrong way to ride a penis, vagina or strap-on — it pretty much comes down to what feels good for you. First of all, forget everything you’ve seen in porn. It doesn’t have to be that complicated, and really, there’s no balancing act or pretzel-twisting postures required. Something as easy as switching up who’s on top — and what they do while they’re up there — can be a great way to mix things up in the bedroom.

I know it sounds simple, but hear me out. While some may consider standard-issue missionary-position sex not so exciting, it’s a go-to for a reason. If you’re on bottom, you have the option of doing nothing while the person on top bumps, writhes, and grinds — a great option for sleepy nights and mornings when you’re feeling a little lazy.

Personally, as a vulva-owning person, being on top is one of my favorite ways to reach orgasm with a penis or strap-on. Sure, it’s a little more work, but when I straddle a partner, it allows me to control the depth, speed, and rhythm of penetration as well as play with my clitoris. Like many women, I need vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation to come. (Here’s your regular reminder that the clitoris is a super-erogenous zone with thousands of nerve endings, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to it during sex.)

Although you may be in the take-charge position on top, be sure to ask your partner for input too. Simple cues like, “Do you prefer it when I do this or that?” can elevate an already sexy experience.

When you’re engaging in sex where one party is on top of the other, there are a number of things you can do to help improve the situation and increase the amount of pleasure you get to experience. We got some sex experts to share seven favorite tips to make the most of being on top.

Keep an eye on pressure & weight

If you are worried about how your body weight differs from your partners while on top, don’t let it stop you from exploring positions that might feel good for you both. Xanet Pailet, a sex and intimacy coach tells SheKnows to try and put your weight on your hands or elbows next to — but not on — your partner’s body. You might find the angle feels even better that way, too.

The butt lift

If you are on top and have strong arms, it’s time to put that strength to use. Try placing your hands under your partner’s butt and lifting them gently during intercourse, Pailet suggests. This action changes the direction of your partner’s pelvis (best for penis-in-vagina, or PIV, penetration) and allows for deeper penetration and more sensation toward the cervix, which could lead to more intense orgasms for the partner with a vagina. This also works really well in the tantric yab yum position, where you are both sitting up facing each other with the receiving partner’s legs draped over the penetrating partner’s.

Easy erogenous zone access

Being on top makes it easy to access so many of your other sensitive erogenous zones, including the nipples and clitoris. When combined with the pleasurable sensation of penis-in-vagina sex, this position can enhance your pleasure (and your orgasm) tenfold, Anne Hodder, a multi-certified sex educator, tells SheKnows. Studies say that for approximately three-quarters of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is necessary in order to reach orgasm during PIV sex, so this position can often help facilitate orgasm in ways that might be difficult in other positions.

Ride ’em, cowboy (or girl)

Another fun top position is the cowboy (person with the vulva sitting straight up over a partner with a penis) and the reverse cowboy (vulva-owner sitting with their butt and back to their partner’s face), Pailet says. Many people with vaginas love these positions because they have more control over the speed and depth of thrusting and can also stimulate their clitoris at the same time. In this position, some people can also maneuver the direction of their partner’s penis to be able to have a G-spot orgasm.

Playing with toys

Knowing how accessible your clitoris will be, feel free to give your or your partner’s hand a break and try using a sex toy to help enhance the sensation, Hodder suggests. Smaller clitoral vibes are great for this; they don’t take up much space and the good ones tend to be quiet and easy to hold. Try getting on top and letting your partner hold the vibe, letting them massage and stimulate you while you focus on getting your balance and rhythm down. It’s a super-fun way to incorporate teamwork into the situation.

One of the best things about missionary sex is that it’s super-simple to do. You can kiss and stare into your partner’s eyes, plus there’s tons of skin-to-skin contact. So, climb on top, rock your hips back and forth and enjoy the ride!

A version of this story was published April 2018.

Before you go, check out 100 vibrators (yes, 100) we’d recommend to all our friends:

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In the wonderful world of sex and sex positions, there’s getting down and then there’s getting down. For connoisseurs of a good sensual romp — we’re talking about our true believers, scholars, and geeks when it comes to sex and sexuality — there’s always a sexy new position, sensation, or experience to try out with your partners for any occasion (some new sex toys can heat things up too). There are plenty of ways to make sure that no two nights in are exactly the same, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner or two.

Don’t get us wrong; we’re always down for a casual quickie or some moderately augmented missionary to give a quick O, but why not branch out and take things to a whole new level? After all, your sex life is a living, breathing and evolving thing that deserves a bit of TLC to keep you and your partner(s) entertained and satisfied. Sometimes all it takes is a brand-spanking-new position to get the party started and to reignite some important conversations about what feels best in the act. (And remember, it’s okay if those things change or if you just want to test something out!) Speaking of spankings, you can throw one of those in for good measure too, if that’s what you’re into.

We also know you’re busy and you don’t want to waste that precious alone time researching impossible pretzel-like contortions to try out (though workout recovery can double as sex recovery if your back is paying for your creativity and ambition in the bedroom).

So to help inject some creativity into your sex life, we’ve compiled 69 fun positions we think you should try ASAP (along with some sweet and guaranteed-to-please old faves). Ironically, good old-fashioned 69 isn’t on this list — but don’t worry, we’ve got a separate run-down of different ways to 69, too.

So here you go: 69 (nice) sex positions to try out. Be safe, be smart, and have fun!

A version of this story was originally published in July 2016. 

Are you ready to kick things up a notch in the bedroom? Then you might consider experimenting with temperature play. Think of how an ice cube offers an instant visceral feeling to your skin or the touch of a warm cup of tea. Now imagine that type of sensation being used to arouse your entire body. That’s pretty much the essence of temperature play.

“Temperature play can add another sensory dimension to a sexual experience,” Avril Louise Clarke, in-house sexologist and intimacy coordinator at Erika Lust, tells SheKnows. “Sensory deprivation could be putting on a blindfold allowing you to delve deeper into the senses of touch, taste or smell. Temperature play is a similar experience, but instead, it heightens arousal, creating unique sensations of hot or cold.”

According to Clarke, temperature play works by intensifying the nerve endings to increase blood flow, which can increase an already pleasurable experience. “So if you put something warm or cold on your body the blood flow will react differently,” she explains. “A good practice, and basic approach when introducing any sexual activity or new play to the bedroom, is to start slowly and always communicate with partners to ensure they are comfortable and enjoying the experience.” 

As always when it comes to sexual activity, remember safety is always the best policy. “And of course, always communicate and practice consent,” Clarke says. “Prioritize the comfort of everyone’s experience. Temperature play is great, and an important part of the BDSM umbrella, since it’s accessible to most, with minimal cost and preparation, and can be done solo or with multiple partners.”

Temperature play can be done with household items such as ice cubes and wax, to freezer-friendly sex toys like vibrators and dildos. Does temperature play sound intriguing to you and your partner(s)? Then read on below to learn about sexpert-approved creative ways to experiment with temperature play in your sex life. 

Experiment with different textures and sensations.

According to Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist and Bloomi CEO and Co-Founder, different people may enjoy different temperatures, textures, and sensations on their skin. Trying different things with temperature play is a good way to experiment with what’s right for you until you know what turns you (and your partner) on. 

“You can adapt temperature play to your needs and preferences and you can do it solo, partnered, with a toy, or without – it’s totally up to you,” Alvarez Story says. “Some suggestions are: licking ice cream off your partner’s skin, letting an ice cube melt on your or your partner’s nipples, or warming/freezing a towel, and putting on your partner.”

Alvarez Story also adds that it’s important to talk about desires, expectations, and limitations as well as come up with a safe word “so you or your partner can revoke your consent at any given time before getting into temperature play.”

Start slowly and explore the entire body.

Whenever you’re playing with hot or cold items, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Lovehoney sex and relationship expert, recommends to start slowly – not only to enjoy and enhance the experience but to test out the thresholds for heat and cold on your and your partner’s body. “In the beginning, run your toy under hot or cold water for 10 to 15 seconds and test it out for a moment. If you want to increase or decrease the temperature, you can always extend the time underwater.” 

And remember that different parts of your body will respond differently to temperature variations. “For example, your mouth can handle hotter temperatures than much of your exposed skin (think about drinking hot tea versus spilling hot tea on your thighs), so take care to test the temperature a little at a time across the body,” she says. 

O’Reilly suggests exploring your entire body with your hot or cold toys — and not heading straight to your genitals. “You can play with temperature from head to toe — alternating between the nipples, along the collarbone, down the sides of your chest and between your thighs.”

Go the sensual route.

If you’re looking for something more sensual to kick off your temperature play, Alvarez Story recommends giving a sensual massage with hot oil or wax from a body-safe candle.

Not that you need much of a reason to give or receive a massage from your lover, but Alvarez Story points out that “relaxing and having an intimate massage can help to reduce muscle tension and stress, improve circulation, and has even been reported to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.”  Choose a massage oil or candle that is suitable for use on intimate skin. She suggests Bloomi’s Relax, which is a clean massage oil that doubles as an everyday body oil with lavender aromatherapy and is safe to be cooled down or warmed up. Set the space with some soft pillows and blankets and enjoy.  

Work with contrast.

Nora Langknecht, marketing manager and certified sex educator at FUN FACTORY, recommends switching between hot and cold sensations to keep your partner in pleasurable suspense. “Use ice to cool someone’s skin (or nipple, or whatever else), and you’ll create contrast with the natural heat of your mouth or tongue,” she says. “So, follow the cool touch of an ice cube with the warmth of your tongue or kisses.”

She also suggests gently heating or cooling your toys to experiment with temperature in a safe way. “Try sticking VOLTA, our external vibrator, or MANTA, our vibrating penis stroker, in hot (not boiling) or cold water. Your partner will get all the stimulation of the toy, plus the added benefit of an unexpected temperature.”

And as always, since temperatures that are too hot or cold may be unpleasant or even painful, she warns to “test the toys against the inside of your wrist before using them on your partner!”

Chill a dildo (or vibrator) in the fridge.

To add a different sensation, Alvarez Story suggests cooling down a dildo in the fridge before playing with it. “Make sure that the dildo is composed of a material that can be frozen and is still body-safe when frozen,” she says. “Our recommendation is Indulge Double-sided Vibrator, a powerful, versatile, and body-safe vibrator with double sides: enjoy one non-vibrating and one vibrating side, both great for vaginal and anal use.” 

In fact, according to Clarke, many silicone toys can be popped in the freezer, or in a bowl of ice and teased across the body during intercorse or foreplay. “A toy that comes to mind is Maya by Love Not War,” she says. “It is a great toy for temperature play since it is responsive to temperatures, meaning the head can be unscrewed and heated before use or put into the refrigerator to cool down. Since it is made out of 99 percent recycled aluminum, it will conduct the temperature really quickly.

Ready to get started with some temperature play? Things are about to get hot (or really cold).

Before you go, get in the mood with these erotic podcasts:

Unless you had a perfectly comprehensive sex education (which, chances are, if you grew up in the U.S., you didn’t), you probably have many questions around your sex life and sexuality that you may feel uncomfortable to bring up to even your closest friends. And social media might be where you turn for those answers. How do you know you’re going to reliable sex educator source who has sex-positivity in mind? That’s where we come in with some recommendations.

If you’re looking to push the boundaries of your own knowledge, you might consider following some truly amazing Instagram sex educators. Not only is it easy to click follow (versus checking out The Joy of Sex for the umpteenth time at your local library…) but incorporating more sex educators and their volumes of wisdom into your Instagram feed could make for an unexpectedly thrilling scroll and reward them for doing this worthwhile and important work on the day-to-day.

You might stumble upon a post that touts the benefits of a trusty new sex toy, read an in-depth explanation of an aspect of sexuality you never thought about or even get some tips on a new position to work into your sex rotation. Plus, you get all of this sexual magic from the minds and mouths of experts who bring to the table a sensitivity, intelligence and earnestness to help you reconnect with your sexual self that is wholly refreshing.

So, who should you follow? Keep clicking to check out my recommendations.

A version of this story was published March 2018.

Ideally, your sex life can be hot and heavy all year long — but in the dog days of summer heat, getting steamy with a partner without feeling sweaty and swampy is easier said than done.

For starters, you can do a few things to your room and for your body for optimal summer sex success: Keep a fan by your bed, crack open a window or have your AC set to a temperature that feels right to both you and your partner. You need extra hydration in the summer, so make sure to hydrate with plenty of water before, after and even during sex if you’re feeling parched. And if you start to get fatigued or things start to get too sticky with your bodies pressed up against each other, have a favorite toy or two at the ready to swap in.

Beyond those prep-steps, you can also play around with positions that work with the weather (lazy, cuddly, making use of cool, flat surfaces and embrace creativity, etc.) rather than against it, to get you and your partner feeling really amazing. It’s even worth experimenting with some cold shower sex or ice cube foreplay, especially if it’s a really intense heatwave. 

Here are the best hot weather sex positions that’ll bring the heat but also keep you cool and breezy. 

Kneeling Oral 

One form of sex that doesn’t require sweaty bodies grinding on each other? Oral. Kneel on a cold tile floor (you may need to use a pillow for your knees), or take this one to the shower while you go down on your partner. You can swap places when you’re done to make sure everyone’s feeling hot and bothered, while also feeling cool and not at all sticky. 

Standing Doggy

An old reliable, doggy lets you and your partner enjoy all kinds of depths of penetration from behind — but when you add both of you standing instead of pressed up in the sheets, you’ll get a lot more air circulating around both of your bodies and less peeling yourself off one another post-game. You can try this one in the shower too if you want an extra cooling effect. 

Butterfly

A modified missionary move, butterfly lets the partner being penetrated lay back against a surface (a great time to use something cool and flat like a table or a counter or some fresh cooling sheets — your choice to prob things up with a pillow or sex wedge!) with their partner between their legs. If the penetrated partner puts their legs over their partner’s shoulders they can get some deep, controlled stimulation. 

Reverse Cowgirl

A great position for when the partner who is being penetrated wants to take charge — they can straddle their penetrating partner and have full range to grind and thrust while giving them an amazing view from behind. If you want to embrace the power of being on top without pressing every inch of your chests together, this is probably a great move to have in your repertoire.

Steamy Spoon

Alright, so many of our sex positions here focus on maximizing sensation while minimizing body-to-body time. But spooning can actually be a good fit for a summer sex sesh if you’re someone who really does want to feel close to your partner but want to conserve a bit of your energy. Have the penetrating partner slide in from behind, pressing their front against the other partner’s back.

Lazy thrusts, grinding and freeing up hands for exploring are a few of the perks of spooning with your lover — and on a hot day (particularly those balmy mornings where you’ve already kicked the sheets down the bed) enjoying a good spoon can be a great way to work smarter and not harder.

Before you go, check out 100 (yes, 100) sex toys we’d recommend to all our friends: