If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

When we’re talking sex positions, we tend to focus solely on the main event: where to do it, how to do it, and how much to do it, etc. Mostly absent from this discussion is any mention of foreplay positions — the very stuff that gets us doing it in the first place — and we’ve overlooked them for too long. Because, after all, one can’t have a middle and end without first having a beginning. And really, we can’t reasonably expect to reach a rewarding conclusion without putting in at least a little work on the front end.

And that work doesn’t just start in bed. “Foreplay is everything that leads to having sex, so technically this starts at any point after your last sexual connection,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “We often think of it as simply what happens just before sex to turn us on, but in reality, foreplay is all the little things that keep us attracted to our partner(s) and lead us to sexual intimacy. “

And foreplay gets a bad rap as the part you have to just power through to get aroused, before you can get to the “good stuff”. In our humble opinion, it’s all good stuff — and it’s not just about getting the relevant body parts appropriately hard, wet, etc. “The whole constellation of activities such as kissing, caressing, touching, oral sex, and verbal exchange is aimed at building arousal, anticipation and sexual tension between partners,” Aliyah Moore, PhD, a certified sex therapist and relationship expert at SexualAlpha, tells SheKnows. Foreplay, Moore explains, can enhance sensation, deepen your emotional connection, help you maintain mutual satisfaction, and let you both indulge in novelty and creativity. “Foreplay gives the partners a chance of discovering something new,” she says, like “experimenting with new methods, positions, and fantasies, which is an improvement to their sexual repertoire.” 

When it comes to the best foreplay positions, it’s all about experimenting with what feels best for you and your partner(s). Of course, some might argue that there are only a handful of ways to do foreplay — and all of them are pretty self-explanatory — but the same could be said about sex itself. The whole thing is pretty straightforward, but that doesn’t keep us from inventing slightly new ways to do it or discussing its many intricacies, and a couple small tweaks can make a major difference. So with that in mind, let’s give foreplay its due. Break out a few of these spicy foreplay positions next time you’re getting hot and heavy and see what a difference some creativity can make.

Spoon

You can’t go wrong with this classic, which is perfect for lazy mornings or late, sleepy nights. You and your partner both lie down on your sides, facing the same direction. The partner in back slides their arms around the one in front, giving them perfect access for hugging, kissing, and touching. “Spoon position is designed to be cozy and close with comfort to your partner, as well as to prevent strain on people’s bodies as much as possible,” Moore says. It’s also perfect if you and your partner are different heights or sizes, letting you explore each other’s bodies at your leisure.

Virgo

The Virgo is a perfect position for impromptu oral sex — or foreplay that feels a little out-of-the-box. The receiving partner starts by standing with their back against a wall. Their legs should be far enough apart that their partner can sit down — legs crossed, facing the receiving partner — and slide in between their legs. The receiving partner can lean against the wall and bend their knees until their partner has ample access to their nether parts. From there, you can both engage in some serious finger and oral play.

Up Against the Wall

Get spontaneous with this simple standing foreplay position. One partner stands flat against the wall with their back to their partner, while the other partner stands behind with their arms around them to touch and kiss. This position is perfect for heating things up even before you get to the bedrooms (gently pressing your partner into a wall or door because you can’t wait to get your hands on them? Hot) as well as providing support, balance, and the potential for touch and play all over the body, Moore says.

Low Doggy

The Low Doggy serves as an excellent precursor to from-behind penetration, but it’s exciting enough to stand on its own. Start by lying, face-down, on a bed, a couch, or some other comfy surface. The receiving partner can bend their knees so their feet are in the air, with a pillow under their pelvis to make things a little cozier. Their partner can climb on top so both partners’ knees and heads are aligned. From there, they can penetrate the receiving partner with their fingers or a toy (LELO Enigma is great if you want a particularly intense experience). If you’re into it, hair-pulling is a sexy addition to this position.

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Mirage

As a foreplay position, the Mirage goes both ways, inviting both you and your partner to get in on the action. The receiving partner starts by lying down with their knees bent and feet planted on the ground (or the bed, or the couch — you know the drill.) Their partner kneels, straddling the receiving partner’s head, facing their legs. From there, they can bend over to reach the receiving partner’s genitals and vice versa, leaving you both free to stimulate each other with mouth and hands.

Temptation

The Temptation is a fun way to turn up the heat — before sex, in the middle of it, or even at the end of it. The receiving partner starts by lying down on the edge of a surface — ideally, somewhere that’s pretty high up. Think: a table, a countertop, or possibly a bed (assuming it’s adequately lofted). Once lying down, they can bend their knees and pull them into their chest so their feet are way up in the air. If it’s comfortable, they can even rock forward a little bit and prop themselves up on the elbows. From there, their partner can stand, facing the receiving partner, and they can stimulate them using their fingers or a toy (I love suction toys for this kind of position — like Womanizer Premium or Unbound’s Puff for people with clits), and the receiving partner can reach down to stimulate them as well. The best part? This foreplay position puts you face to face, so you can kiss each other the entire time.

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Reverse

The Reverse is an excellent foreplay option for those looking to try something very new. The receiving partner lies down with their knees bent and feet planted in front of them. (The bend can be pretty subtle as long as it feels stable and comfortable.) Their partner to lies down on top, facing the ceiling, with their head aligned with the receiving partner’s legs, and their legs bent, straddling the receiving partner’s head. Once there, adjust until your partner’s genitals reach your mouth and you can engage in some serious oral play.

Hunger

The Hunger is a classic foreplay position — one you’ll likely recognize, even if you’ve never called it by that name. The receiving partner starts by sitting on the edge of the bed, knees bent and toes grazing the floor. Their partner kneels in front, facing them. From there, they can engage in all kinds of finger and oral play — even stimulating the receiving partner with a toy, if you so choose. Since this position starts on the bed, it’s a perfect segue into more classic penetrative sex as well as other kinds of foreplay.

Tamer

The Tamer is an incredibly cozy form of foreplay, fit for drowsy mornings and late evenings alike. The receiving partner lies on their side, and invites their partner to do the same — but they should be lying perpendicular to the receiving partner, with their upper body nestled between the receiving partner’s legs. (You should be able to make eye contact. If you aren’t, one of you is facing the wrong way!) From there, they should have easy access to the receiving partner’s genitals, giving them space to stimulate their fingers or a sex toy (Dame’s Com Wand Vibrator is an amazing option for this one). And the receiving partner can reach behind themselves to stimulate their partner, too.

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Compliment

Another classic form of foreplay, the Compliment is an easy addition to anyone’s sexual repertoire. The receiving partner kneels just behind the edge of the bed, while their partner kneels on the ground in front of them. They can adjust as necessary until they can easily reach the receiving partner’s genitals, and then stimulate them using their mouth, their hands, or a sex toy.

Pendant

69 by another name, the Pendant invites you and your partner to pleasure each other in equal measure. One partner lies down with their knees bent and their feet planted in front of them, while the other climbs on top of them, facing them, with the top partner’s legs straddling their torso and head snuggled in between their legs. From there, you should have access to each other’s genitals, giving you both the opportunity to stimulate each other however you see fit — with your mouths, your hands, or a couple sex toys.

Blindfolded

Nothing like incorporating a homemade sex toy to spice things up. “Just before sex, if you’re looking to heighten arousal, you can try blindfolding a partner (or have them close their eyes) and touch them in various ways,” Switzer suggests. “You could do finger tips, deeper massages, light spanks, try exploring different parts of their body than where you normally spend time.” You can use a sleep mask, a necktie, or a dark T-shirt as a DIY blindfold.

Foreplay Tips

Pair your new foreplay positions with these expert tips to keep things fresh and fun:

Foreplay can last all day long. No, we’re not talking about spending the whole day in bed together (although… that sounds fun) — more like finding ways to tease and flirt throughout the day so you’re riled up by the time you’re both home. “Is your partner turned on by sexy photos, flirty texts, dirty talk, surprises?” Switzer says. “If you’re not sure, simply ask! Find ways to incorporate versions of this throughout the day.”

Spell it out. Heighten the excitement of whatever position you choose “by telling your partner exactly what you plan to do to them (or exactly what you want them to do to you),” Switzer says. “This gives us a sensual mental image, a sense of excitement, and heightened awareness of the experience.” It’s also a great way make sure you’re both on board with what’s coming next, while keeping you in the moment together. That kind of communication is crucial, Moore adds. “Open and honest communication will help you grasp your partner’s wants, limits, and expectations.”

Pay attention. “Focus on your partner’s responses and signals during foreplay,” Moore says. “Try to investigate multiple kinds of touch, pressure and stimulation to define what gives each of you the most pleasure.” Plus, seeing what turns your partner on will be a huge turn-on for you too.

Involve every sense. Light some candles, play some soft music, and put on your silkiest sheets or clothes. It’s worth the effort: Engaging all five senses during foreplay can help to build arousal and pleasure, Moore says.

Lube it up. Lube can add comfort and satisfaction during foreplay, especially if you’re getting into manual stimulation or oral sex, Moore says. She recommends using a water- or silicon-based lubricant that works with condoms and sex toys.

Keep up the eye contact. Eye contact is a seriously underrated turn-on. “Eye contact can make intimacy and connection during foreplay even more profound,” Moore explains. “Stare into the eyes of your partner, as you discover unknown places in each other and translate your desire and passion without words.”

Take your time. Foreplay isn’t the appetizer — “it’s the ingredients of the main dish,” Switzer says. It’s what will make that main dish taste oh-so-delicious. “Also, foreplay is a great time to explore and tease, find new erogenous zones, and spice up your sex life,” she adds, so enjoy every moment and don’t rush through it.

A previous version of this article was published in 2020.

You can be your own passionate partner. Try out these masturbation positions for DIY pleasure: 

Our mental image of cunnilingus tends to be pretty formulaic: the receiving partner lying on their back, legs spread and a partner bending down to pleasure them. This position is hardly the only way to do it. Obvious variations include the classic “Sit on My Face” positions, as well as the equally iconic 69. But even these three positions don’t encompass a fraction of what’s on offer in the world of oral sex. 

When it comes to cunnilingus positions, “comfort is key,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. The receiving partner can feel “very exposed,” she explained, so good technique and trust with your partner is paramount. Communication and letting your partner what feels good and what doesn’t is also super important, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. When done right, cunnilingus can be incredible at “stimulating and building arousal” for people with vulvas.

The entire landscape of cunnilingus positions expands far beyond our go-tos, and it’s just waiting to be discovered. Isn’t it time we collectively explored the frontiers that lay just outside our norms? Here are eight cunnilingus positions you probably haven’t tried yet, but you and your partner will totally want to add to your bedroom repertoire.

Sideways 69

This is an easy variation to start exploring with your partner, Switzer says. It’s the “classic 69,” she says,” but with both partners on their sides rather than one on top of the other.” It’s comfortable but still hot, and familiar enough to get you ready to experiment even more.

All Fours

Sitting on someone’s face can be awesome, because it gives your partner direct access to your nether parts. But it can also be intimidating, awkward or straight-up uncomfortable, because, well, you’re pressing all of your weight onto someone’s face. 

The All Fours plays to the strengths of sitting on your partner’s face without forcing you to literally sit on your partner’s face. By getting on your hands and knees above your lying partner, you’re supporting yourself — and doing so in a generally comfortable way. This also gives your partner the option of “pleasuring the whole area,” Dr. Tara adds, including or not including your anus. So basically, it’s all the intensity you expect from face-sitting, without the discomfort.

Pillow Princess

This popular position, suggested by Dr. Tara, is a simple variation on your typical legs-spread option. The vulva owner places a pillow under their butt, lifting their pelvic area and “making it easy to receive,” Dr. Tara explains.

Lean Forward

An easy way to switch things up? Stand during oral sex. While most cunnilingus positions involve you sitting or lying down, the Lean Forward has you standing up and — you guessed it — leaning forward while your partner kneels behind you. Feel free to use the walls for stability, be they in your bedroom, your living room, or your shower.

Wrapped Eagle

The Wrapped Eagle offers a slight twist on the most classic of cunnilingus positions. Instead of lying down with your legs splayed out, have your legs wrapped around your partner’s head. This can mitigate some of the vulnerability associated with the more obvious Spread Eagle position — plus, it allows you to control the pressure. Simply pull your partner closer to you when you’re looking to up the intensity.

Forbidden Fruit

Fans of doggy-style will surely appreciate this approach to cunnilingus. Get on all fours — but on your knees and elbows, rather than your knees and hands for the Forbidden Fruit. Once you’ve gotten comfortable, invite your partner to join you. From behind, they’ll have direct access to your genitals.

Modified 69

Modified 69 took everything you love about face-sitting and combined it with everything you love about 69. Have your partner lie with their head and shoulders hanging off the side of the bed as you stand up. Walk toward them so you’re straddling over their face. From there, you can bend over to engage in a little reciprocity, or just enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.

The nice part? You can control the intensity by bending your knees as much or as little as you want. You can also support yourself by leaning forward and placing your hands on the bed.

Virgo

This incredibly intense position will have you standing as your partner explores you from an entirely new angle. For the Virgo, simply stand up straight, with your back against the wall. Your partner can sit below you in whatever position they choose —so long as they can reach your genitals. From there, they can perform cunnilingus as long as desired, and you can always move to the bed if you want a softer surface.

Kick Back

If lying down during cunnilingus isn’t really your thing, you might appreciate the Kick Back. A seated take on a classic, the Kick Back offers your partner direct access to your nether bits without leaving you splayed out on the bed. This is especially alluring if you’ve got a comfy chair to partake in. The next time you’re looking to change things up, you know exactly where to go.

All Curled Up

This one is a little more vulnerable, but so satisfying. Lie down, then bend your knees and hug your legs as close to your chest as they’ll go. The All Curled Up position will introduce an entirely new angle to oral sex, which may pave the way for some finger play or sex toy supplementation, too.

A version of this post was originally published in 2019.

Before you go, please check out our bucket list of 69 (nice) sex positions to try:

You know when you really hit it off with a guy, only to discover once his clothes come off that he’s packing something… interesting? It happens way more often than you think, but it shouldn’t be a reason to run for the door. We’re here to dispel some pervasive myths about penis size and give you the best sex positions for any penis size or shape.

The first thing to know is that penis size is “generally irrelevant to pleasure” for all partners involved, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows. “The vast majority of people are perfectly satisfied with their partner’s penis size.” That’s because good sex has involves a lot more than just the size and shape of your physical attributes. “Satisfying sex is about how you connect with your partner in an intimate way,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. According to one study, only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone, so clearly, Switzer says, “satisfying sex is about way more than penetration.” For example: many orgasms come from stimulating the clitoris, “the most direct route to orgasm for many people” with vaginas, Dr. Jess says; or the prostate, which Dr. Jess calls the “equivalent to the G-spot” and which can be stimulated at “a relatively shallow depth.”

On that note, know that bigger is not necessarily better when it comes to penis size. “As the cliche saying goes: ‘it’s not the size, it’s how you use it’ and that certainly applies to penis size,” Switzer says. The average size of an erection is about five inches, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, which can be a perfectly pleasurable size for many receiving partners. “If you’re having sex with a vagina, it’s unlikely that you need a long penis,” Dr. Jess explains. “The average vaginal canal is around 3.5 inches in an unaroused state. A good fit is far more relevant to pleasure than a longer or thicker penis.” Some receiving partners even find penetrative sex with a large penis to be painful, but know that this doesn’t need to be the case either — we’ll have some comfortable options for larger penises ahead.

When it comes to penetrative sex with a penis, it’s really all about communication and experimentation to find what brings both you and your partner(s) the most pleasure, no matter what size of penis you’re working with. All penises are capable of delivering fantastic orgasms if you know what to do with them, and that’s where we come in. Check out the best, expert-approved sex positions for different penis sizes ahead.

Best sex positions for every penis size

Best sex position for a long penis: Doggy style, missionary, or Yab Yum

Our culture tends to idealize long penises because they penetrate deeper, but for some receiving partners, that kind of depth can be uncomfortable or painful. For longer penises, Dr. Jess and Dr. Tara both recommended doggy style, as the penetrating partner’s butt will provide some natural cushioning to reduce the depth of penetration. (If reducing the depth detracts from your pleasure, Dr. Jess recommended using a donut product like OhNut.) Switzer also recommends missionary and Yab Yum as positions that “utilize the length for pleasure without causing too much intensity.”

Best sex position for a small penis: Cowgirl, lifted missionary, or doggy style

You have a few different options with a smaller penis. Dr. Jess recommends letting the receiving partner ride on top (like in cowgirl) “so that they can control the angle of penetration and depth,” while Dr. Tara suggested lifted missionary — basically missionary but with a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips, “so that it is at an optimum angle for you to insert as deeply as you can.” Some other options, Switzer says, are doggy style and happy baby. “Great ways to give sensations to different angles of the vaginal canal,” she explains. “And honestly, small penises are great to try anal!”

Best sex position for a thin penis: Modified doggy style or lifted missionary

Doggy style is also a good choice for thinner girth, Dr. Tara says. She also recommends cowgirl, which allows the receiving partner to ride the penis and feel their way to the most pleasurable spots. You can also play with G-spot stimulation with the hips-up missionary-style position, says Dr. Jess, where the receiving partner lies on the their back with a pillow propping up their hips and the penetrating partner kneels between their legs to slide in from below.

Best sex position for a thick penis: Scissors or missionary

With a thick penis, look for positions where the receiving partner can spread their legs wide. A closed-legs position can make it “even harder to penetrate,” Dr. Tara explains, “which can be painful” for the receiving partner. Traditional missionary and variations on it, like scissors, can be a good choice here, and Dr. Jess recommends playing with external stimulation by angling the penis to rub against the receiving partner’s clitoral head. In missionary, for example, the penetrating partner should “put your legs on the outside and slide up and down as your slide in and out,” she explains. “This allows them to feel extra friction from your girth while their legs are in between yours.”

For scissors, try lying on your sides facing each other, with your heads at opposite ends of the bed. The penetrating partner puts one leg between the receiving partner’s and penetrates while the receiving partner rolls slightly backward, keeping their pelvis spread wide apart.

Best sex position for a curved penis: Missionary, doggy style, or spooning

This really depends on the curve angle. If it curves up, missionary is best; if it curves down, doggy style. However, if you lilt to the left or right, you might wanted to go for spooning. You both lie on your sides, knees at an almost 90-degree angle. He lifts your legs and penetrates from behind, all the while both pressing your legs together to keep things snug.

A version of this article was originally published in 2015.

Here are 69 (nice) more sex positions we think you should try:

It’s one of the biggest debates in sexual pleasure: Is there a G-spot or isn’t there? Science hasn’t quite reached a definitive conclusion, though recent studies have found evidence of its existence, and personally, we’re believers. If you’re not, or aren’t sure where your G-spot even is, let alone how to stimulate it — you’ve come to the right place for G-spot sex positions and everything else to know about this erogenous zone.

For those who don’t know, the G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, is that magical area located about an inch inside the vaginal opening on the anterior (front) upper wall, closest to your tummy. When stimulated through penetrative sex or play, this almond-size zone swells and becomes tingly. It’s important to note that the G-spot is “the whole zone of the top of the vaginal wall, which is basically a part of the clitoral network,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara),  PhD, a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. The G-spot is essentially “the backside of your clit,” she tells SheKnows, noting that the term “G-spot” might be misleading, as it can be a larger area (more like a zone). And it’s not necessarily a pleasure center for everyone. “This area has a ‘hit or miss’ vibe to it,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “Some find stimulating this area uncomfortable or unpleasant and others may experience an increase in lubrication, intense orgasms, and/or ejaculation (aka squirting).”

Sex or sex toys that hit the G-spot can feel incredible for some people and not-so-great (or like nothing at all) for others, so if it’s something you want to explore, Switzer recommends taking things slow. “Although it can feel pleasurable with firm or intense stimulation, for the best experience, this area should be approached slowly, gently, and gradually increasing in intensity,” she explains. And if you don’t end up feeling much, that’s OK too — there are plenty of ways to have hot sex that don’t emphasize the G-spot. “Some people experience it as erogenous and some do not — just like some of us enjoy having our feet rubbed and others find foot rubs annoying,” Jess O’Reilly (aka Dr. Jess), PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows.

Since the G-spot is relatively shallow (not deep in the vagina), per Dr. Jess, stimulating it through sex is all about finding the right positions to illicit that delicious sensation. We consulted the experts to find the best positions for stimulating your G-spot, so if you’re interested in trying to see if you can squirt or really like the feeling of penetration, these positions will totally be your vibe. (Pro tip: use toys to truly level-up the experience.)

As with all sex and sexual positions, be sure to give your partner plenty of feedback and modify the positions as needed. With that said, here are six sex positions that encourage just the right angle, depth and control for mind-blowing G-spot orgasms.

A version of this story was published October 2018.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, SheKnows may receive an affiliate commission.

The passionate, mysterious vibes of Scorpio season have come and gone, and we head into the final sign of our the calendar year: Sagittarius. The archer and adventurer, Sags are known for wanting more — intellectually, physically, you name it. Ruled by Jupiter (think big! happy! optimistic and ambitious), your friendly neighborhood Sagittarius isn’t one to lay back and enjoy the ride in their relationships. Instead, they want explosive physical and emotional chemistry and adventurous partners that can keep up with them.

“Sagittarius season is all about embracing life’s pleasures,” Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows. Scorpio season “was all about leaving behind what no longer served us by practicing radical transformation,” she says; now Sagittarius season is here, reminding us to “bask in the glory of the results that come from taking that plunge.”

Sagittarius season is the time to lean into the “go big or go home” mindset. “As the last fire sign of the zodiac, the sign of the Archer does nothing halfway!” Montúfar says. “Whatever it does, it does so with excitement and gusto. Out of the entire year, the month ruled by Sagittarius inspires us to think big, explore, and see all the possibilities that lie ahead of us. It is a wonderful time to learn, travel, and bring people together.”

As we frequently note, every sign plays with a different season and planet differently! Your chart is chock full o’ cosmic knowledge and traits that make up your specific personality. So be sure to check your sun sign, your moon sign and your ascendant/rising sign, as well as your other prominent planets out for a full zodiac picture (Mars and Venus are always interesting in the realm of sex and relationships!). You might even benefit from a sit down with an astrologer to go over your chart and get an understanding of how well you play with other signs.

But, in the meantime, if you want to ride out Sagittarius season with a bang and some whimpers, we’re recommending you channel your inner adventurer, pump up your energy, and seek out some exciting, active, and athletic sex positions.

Sorry my lovely starfish friends, this isn’t your time. (Save those pillow princess vibes for Taurus season!) Instead, try embracing the full range of motions you and your partner have at your disposal to aggressively and enthusiastically seek out the kind of pleasure you want and need. You may roll out of bed later with sore thighs or feeling like you did a few too many planks, but the shared experience of working some sexy aggression out together is powerful one.

Montúfar recommends a couple specific sex positions to bring in that exciting, athletic Sag energy:

Mopping: the receiving partner places their hands on the floor and lifts their hips (think downward dog, but with your legs as bent as needed!) while the penetrating partner enters them from behind. “This playful position allows for deep penetration, which totally resonates with the Sagittarian mantra,” Montúfar says (go big or go home!). “Since it’s also a position that does not require a bed, it makes room for the spontaneous vibe of the season.”

Expanding: the receiving partner lies in a spooning position in front of the penetrating partner, lifting and lowering their top leg as desired to play with the depth of penetration. This one works for Sag season because “‘Expansion’ is one of the keywords for both Jupiter and Sagittarius,” Montúfar explains. “What’s fun about this position is that it brings attention to the areas that never get it.” While it may not seem exciting at first, “it totally is — especially for the receiver!”

The Golden Arch: the receiving partner sits on top of the penetrating partner, facing them, with their legs on the penetrating partner’s legs or their ankles on their shoulders. This is the definition of an athletic sex position; you’ll work your triceps and shoulders while allowing for eye-to-eye contact, “which can be very exciting — just like Sagittarian energy,” Montúfar reminds us. “Unlike the energy of other zodiac signs, Sagittarius inspires us to stay present in the moments and truly connect with the other person while having sex.”

Of course, everyone has a different definition of what’s “exciting” in the bedroom. The idea is to simply get out of your comfort zone, whatever that looks like for you, while knowing that the strong Sagittarius energy of this season will support you through it.

“Be adventurous and take risks! If you’ve always wanted to have a threesome or [try] sex in public, this might be the season that inspires you to try it,” Montúfar says. “Sagittarius season is the time of the year in which we have more openness to trying new things. How do you know you’ve never liked it if you’ve never tried it?”

Carry that attitude through the rest of the year, in and out of the bedroom, and just see where it takes you. And don’t worry: You can always cool down with some sleepy, lazy sex later. You’ll have earned it.

A version of this post was originally published in 2020.

Before you go, check out 69 of our favorite sex positions to add to your bucket list: 

Winter can be a major bummer. Between the minimal daylight hours, the cold and the often-gray weather, it’s hard to get motivated to leave the house. Hard to go out with friends. Hard to get to the gym. Life gets boring! It’s no wonder so many of us wait for spring with bated breath to start living our lives again. And sometimes our sex lives feel like they need to thaw out too.

But winter doesn’t have to be all bad news. You could, for example, use winter as a springboard to reinvigorate your intimate life and have some seriously good sex. I know, I know. It sounds a little silly — like, no, I want to hibernate and carb-load, thanks. But think about it. Sex gets your heart rate up, it keeps you warm, and can easily be done once the sun has gone down — and it can provide some much-needed endorphins when the inevitable winter blues strike.

To get started, we put together some fun and exciting (but reasonable and attainable for people who aren’t double-jointed) sex positions to get you out of your winter rut. These positions are just enticing enough to keep things interesting without feeling like you have to become a contortionist. They should feel good — really good — but even if they don’t lead you to new heights of orgasm, you might get a few good laughs trying. Test them out and start actually looking forward to those long winter nights.

We all love a good orgasm. But when it comes to partnered sex — particularly penetrative intercourse — there’s a real split in who is most consistently getting them via their partner (though couples sex toys are always a great teammate and not competition in this regard!). So what exactly are the best sex positions for orgasm, especially for those of us with vaginas?

First thing to know: don’t believe all the hype and myths from movies, porn, and TV. Orgasms for folks with vulvas aren’t an easy get through penetration alone, nor are they so elusive and complicated that they aren’t worth trying for. In reality, surveys say only about 57 percent of us are climaxing every time we have sex, and that’s usually when a form of stimulation other than penetration is involved. In fact, according to a 2017 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 37 percent of American women required clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm, and only 18 percent (!) of women said they were able to come on vaginal penetration alone.

The bottom line? Most vagina-owners aren’t having effortless, screaming orgasms every time we hook up and the same old sex positions aren’t really cutting it for closing the orgasm gap. If you and your partner haven’t yet cracked the code to your orgasm together, don’t fear. With experimentation and communication, you can absolutely get there.

Of course, orgasm is not the goal of sex, but that doesn’t mean we should give up trying to have the best, most mind-blowing sex possible. We just need to get a little creative with our positions and technique to ensure that the right parts are getting stimulation at the right time (and for the right amount of time).

If you’re wondering where to start, you’ve come to the right place. We asked the experts (or should we say sexperts) for the best clitoris-loving sex positions that can help make the situation ideal for mind-blowing orgasms. Check out these eight must-try positions and thank us later.

Editor’s note: We at SheKnows recognize that not every person with a penis is a man and not every person with a vagina is a woman. In this article, the experts and sources we spoke to generally refer to the penetrating partner as a man and the receiving partner as a woman.

The butterfly position or modified missionary

The height difference in this position does amazing things. “With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing,” Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD, a psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy, tells SheKnows. “She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upward. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation, with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot.”

Modified coital alignment technique

Like missionary, but looking for a little more stimulation? This position is for you. “A couple starts off in missionary position,” says Dr. Castellanos. “Once a man penetrates a woman deeply, he allows her to bring her legs together between his. He then shifts his weight slightly forward so that the shaft of his erection is producing firm pressure and friction on her clitoris as he moves. This works very well for women that prefer to have clitoral stimulation during penetration to reach a very powerful orgasm.”

The countertop

Spontaneity can seriously amp up your sex drive and push you toward orgasm. Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of the now-closed Bedroom Matters, tells SheKnows this is her favorite position. “It’s when the woman is lying on her back on the counter or table while he enters standing. It’s rough,” says Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of the now-closed Bedroom Matters. “There’s pushing aside of papers, pepper shakers, which add to the sense of urgency and inappropriateness. It’s easy to maneuver and move the woman to slide along the counter. There is still contact. He goes deep and feels in control. It works all the way around. The keys are clothing, stuff in the way, and being in an open space. Still allows for connection while feeling dirty. It just works on so many levels. It’s not about acrobats. It’s about context.”

The seated scissors

“This position allows the woman to have the control in order to determine the depth and angle of penetration as well as how much clitoral stimulation she gets,” says Dr. Castellanos. “With the man lying flat on his back and his knees bent, she straddles him with one leg to the side of his hip and the other leg between his legs. The woman can then find just the right spot to grind against his pubic bone with him inside her. She controls the pace, the depth and the amount of pressure and friction she receives. This is definitely a prescription for mind-blowing sex!”

Get off, stand up

“I’m no [pro], but whenever I’ve had sex standing up and holding my partner in the air or up against the wall, it’s been mind-blowing for both of us,” says Jim, an experienced heterosexual male. “I suspect it taps into some of our innate gender differences — the strong man and the small woman — which, in turn, heightens the sexual experience. It also forces us to be in a full embrace, which furthers the emotional connection as well as our physical one. It’s physically demanding and not for all couples, but for those that can, it’s highly recommended.”

Uncloaking the clit

We know the clitoris is powerful, but sometimes it needs a little encouragment to come out and play. “Given a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse to catch the ‘O’ train,” Jaiya, a sexologist, filmmaker, and founder of the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough tells SheKnows. Luckily, some simple techniques can change that. “Form a ‘V’ with your index and middle fingers, and point your fingers toward your feet,” Jaiya says. “Press this ‘V’ onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then pull up, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action.”

Pushing tush

With the penetrating partner is on top, the receiving partner’s hands are free for some anal play and exploration. “If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands, and grab both cheeks,” says Jaiya. “From there, you can do ‘butt yoga’ (a technique whereby you spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down, then vice versa) or ‘anal yoga’ (a technique whereby you place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus, then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down). If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper.”

Happy scissors

There’s a lot more you can do with hands during sex beyond just touching and rubbing. “Heating up hot spots aren’t your hands-only talents,” says Jaiya. “They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse, raise your legs, then have your man hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 80 degrees — the options are endless. And since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both. Talk about getting a leg up on a little variety!”

A version of this article was originally published in February 2010.

Before you go, read up on the 69 sex positions we have on our bucket list:

Alright, so you’ve made it through the productivity gauntlet of Virgo season (probably several spreadsheets wiser) and now you take the sweet steps into the curated autumnal party of Libra season. Ruled by Venus, Libra is an air sign’s air sign. Bringing forth lively intellectual conversation, a sense for aesthetics, and a gut-level need for harmony and justice, Libra season (which runs from Sept. 23 to Oct. 23) invites you to fall in love a lot (and to make everyone else fall in love with you on the way down) and to take and give in the way that feels right for you. Which brings us to the most glorious give-and-take sex position: 69.

A position known for being a punchline (and the nicest number), 69 can feel a bit busy and all over the place. You’re trying to do your thing with your mouth and enjoy all the wonders of your partner doing their best on you — all while managing your limbs and technique to make sure no one gets a knee to the face or an elbow to the stomach. But even if you prefer taking turns, the spirit of 69 is all about reciprocity and mutually pleasurable sex.

And finding that sweet balance between giving and receiving, loving and being loved and enjoying and being enjoyed — that’s a big Libra season mood.

“Libra is the sign of balance, so the 69 position is ideal for harnessing the concept of fairness and alignment between two people,” Narayana Monúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows. “With this fun position, both sides are giving attention and receiving the same amount of attention, evening out the scales of pleasure!” Plus, 69 is a super-inclusive position that works for any sexuality or gender identity. “Anyone can try it — and Libra energy loves that, as this lovey-dovey sign is all about equality,” Monúfar explains.

Libra season in general is an exciting time for relationships, which completely makes sense — Libra is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love and pleasure, after all. Monúfar describes Libra season as a time for seeking true connection and “one of the best seasons of the year to make new friends and seek light-hearted fun.”

And when it comes to relationships, Libra season in 2023 will be quite something. “The last eclipse season of the year arrives now, with the Ring of Fire new moon solar eclipse happening in Libra on October 14,” Monúfar says. Eclipses tend to open and close doors, mixing past and present and future all together, so “we should expect to see a lot of movement in all our relationships this Libra season,” she explains.

For sex specifically, that makes this season the perfect time to experiment. “For those who are interested in going beyond 69 and exploring new kinks, this is your month!” Monúfar confirms. “Mars — the planet of sex and drive — will be very active in the sky all month, reminding us that our sex life is just another area of life that needs maintenance and attention.”

Of course, while you’re having all this sexy, 69 fun, remember that the crucial tenet of Libra is balance. “Relationships are mirrors,” Monúfar says. “When we dislike something about someone, there is something about ourselves that needs work. Similarly, when we are able to see a quality or a gift in another person, we have the capability of showing the same traits.”

In relationships of all kinds, a sense of balance between yourself and your partner is invaluable — as well as the wisdom to know when you need to restore that balance a little. It means you’ve got the sense to listen, to try and understand their wants and needs and provide as well as be let yourself be provided for (emotionally, physically, whatever). So even if you aren’t going forth and engaging in fun mutual orgasms (even if oral’s not for everyone — you can always just play with toys) it helps to think about the things you can do, big and small, to find what that sense of balance looks like for you and your partner.

And, in true Libra season fashion, you’re sure to find that balance pretty damn beautiful.

A version of this article was originally published in September 2022.

Before you go, check out our 69 (nice) sex positions to try before you die: 

There’s really no right or wrong way to ride a penis, vagina or strap-on — it pretty much comes down to what feels good for you. First of all, forget everything you’ve seen in porn. It doesn’t have to be that complicated, and really, there’s no balancing act or pretzel-twisting postures required. Something as easy as switching up who’s on top — and what they do while they’re up there — can be a great way to mix things up in the bedroom.

I know it sounds simple, but hear me out. While some may consider standard-issue missionary-position sex not so exciting, it’s a go-to for a reason. If you’re on bottom, you have the option of doing nothing while the person on top bumps, writhes, and grinds — a great option for sleepy nights and mornings when you’re feeling a little lazy.

Personally, as a vulva-owning person, being on top is one of my favorite ways to reach orgasm with a penis or strap-on. Sure, it’s a little more work, but when I straddle a partner, it allows me to control the depth, speed, and rhythm of penetration as well as play with my clitoris. Like many women, I need vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation to come. (Here’s your regular reminder that the clitoris is a super-erogenous zone with thousands of nerve endings, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to it during sex.)

Although you may be in the take-charge position on top, be sure to ask your partner for input too. Simple cues like, “Do you prefer it when I do this or that?” can elevate an already sexy experience.

When you’re engaging in sex where one party is on top of the other, there are a number of things you can do to help improve the situation and increase the amount of pleasure you get to experience. We got some sex experts to share seven favorite tips to make the most of being on top.

Keep an eye on pressure & weight

If you are worried about how your body weight differs from your partners while on top, don’t let it stop you from exploring positions that might feel good for you both. Xanet Pailet, a sex and intimacy coach tells SheKnows to try and put your weight on your hands or elbows next to — but not on — your partner’s body. You might find the angle feels even better that way, too.

The butt lift

If you are on top and have strong arms, it’s time to put that strength to use. Try placing your hands under your partner’s butt and lifting them gently during intercourse, Pailet suggests. This action changes the direction of your partner’s pelvis (best for penis-in-vagina, or PIV, penetration) and allows for deeper penetration and more sensation toward the cervix, which could lead to more intense orgasms for the partner with a vagina. This also works really well in the tantric yab yum position, where you are both sitting up facing each other with the receiving partner’s legs draped over the penetrating partner’s.

Easy erogenous zone access

Being on top makes it easy to access so many of your other sensitive erogenous zones, including the nipples and clitoris. When combined with the pleasurable sensation of penis-in-vagina sex, this position can enhance your pleasure (and your orgasm) tenfold, Anne Hodder, a multi-certified sex educator, tells SheKnows. Studies say that for approximately three-quarters of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is necessary in order to reach orgasm during PIV sex, so this position can often help facilitate orgasm in ways that might be difficult in other positions.

Ride ’em, cowboy (or girl)

Another fun top position is the cowboy (person with the vulva sitting straight up over a partner with a penis) and the reverse cowboy (vulva-owner sitting with their butt and back to their partner’s face), Pailet says. Many people with vaginas love these positions because they have more control over the speed and depth of thrusting and can also stimulate their clitoris at the same time. In this position, some people can also maneuver the direction of their partner’s penis to be able to have a G-spot orgasm.

Playing with toys

Knowing how accessible your clitoris will be, feel free to give your or your partner’s hand a break and try using a sex toy to help enhance the sensation, Hodder suggests. Smaller clitoral vibes are great for this; they don’t take up much space and the good ones tend to be quiet and easy to hold. Try getting on top and letting your partner hold the vibe, letting them massage and stimulate you while you focus on getting your balance and rhythm down. It’s a super-fun way to incorporate teamwork into the situation.

One of the best things about missionary sex is that it’s super-simple to do. You can kiss and stare into your partner’s eyes, plus there’s tons of skin-to-skin contact. So, climb on top, rock your hips back and forth and enjoy the ride!

A version of this story was published April 2018.

Before you go, check out 100 vibrators (yes, 100) we’d recommend to all our friends:

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Forget your typical “Netflix and Chill”; if you and your boo have agreed to a movie night, why not screen a steamy flick with hot sex scenes to inspire some new moves in the bedroom? Sure, you could always watch another episode of Outlander, but there are plenty of films that pack a similarly smokin’-hot punch.

We challenge you to turn on a sexy film and watch it all the way through with the intention of finding erotic inspiration (either for partnered or solo sex). Think of it like an extended session of foreplay: The racy viewing material will build anticipation, making your eventual romp in the bedroom all the more satisfying.

Viewing a sexy movie is also a great date night idea for couples in long-distance relationships. Imagine watching those NSFW scenes in tandem while in separate locations, discussing exxxactly what got you hot and bothered, and then — well, you get the idea.

To spare you time (and some dodgy Google search results), we compiled a list of racy movies with intimate scenes guaranteed to get your mind going. The films on this list reflect the many different kinds of love out there, including lesbian, gay, and queer relationships. Heads-up, though: You’re probably going to need a cold shower after poring over these titles.

And if these flicks aren’t enough to “get you there,” there’s always femme-friendly porn. We’ve done that research for you too!

A version of this story was published October 2017. This story was updated in May 2023.

Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes. 

Ideally, your sex life can be hot and heavy all year long — but in the dog days of summer heat, getting steamy with a partner without feeling sweaty and swampy is easier said than done.

For starters, you can do a few things to your room and for your body for optimal summer sex success: Keep a fan by your bed, crack open a window or have your AC set to a temperature that feels right to both you and your partner. You need extra hydration in the summer, so make sure to hydrate with plenty of water before, after and even during sex if you’re feeling parched. And if you start to get fatigued or things start to get too sticky with your bodies pressed up against each other, have a favorite toy or two at the ready to swap in.

Beyond those prep-steps, you can also play around with positions that work with the weather (lazy, cuddly, making use of cool, flat surfaces and embrace creativity, etc.) rather than against it, to get you and your partner feeling really amazing. It’s even worth experimenting with some cold shower sex or ice cube foreplay, especially if it’s a really intense heatwave. 

Here are the best hot weather sex positions that’ll bring the heat but also keep you cool and breezy. 

Kneeling Oral 

One form of sex that doesn’t require sweaty bodies grinding on each other? Oral. Kneel on a cold tile floor (you may need to use a pillow for your knees), or take this one to the shower while you go down on your partner. You can swap places when you’re done to make sure everyone’s feeling hot and bothered, while also feeling cool and not at all sticky. 

Standing Doggy

An old reliable, doggy lets you and your partner enjoy all kinds of depths of penetration from behind — but when you add both of you standing instead of pressed up in the sheets, you’ll get a lot more air circulating around both of your bodies and less peeling yourself off one another post-game. You can try this one in the shower too if you want an extra cooling effect. 

Butterfly

A modified missionary move, butterfly lets the partner being penetrated lay back against a surface (a great time to use something cool and flat like a table or a counter or some fresh cooling sheets — your choice to prob things up with a pillow or sex wedge!) with their partner between their legs. If the penetrated partner puts their legs over their partner’s shoulders they can get some deep, controlled stimulation. 

Reverse Cowgirl

A great position for when the partner who is being penetrated wants to take charge — they can straddle their penetrating partner and have full range to grind and thrust while giving them an amazing view from behind. If you want to embrace the power of being on top without pressing every inch of your chests together, this is probably a great move to have in your repertoire.

Steamy Spoon

Alright, so many of our sex positions here focus on maximizing sensation while minimizing body-to-body time. But spooning can actually be a good fit for a summer sex sesh if you’re someone who really does want to feel close to your partner but want to conserve a bit of your energy. Have the penetrating partner slide in from behind, pressing their front against the other partner’s back.

Lazy thrusts, grinding and freeing up hands for exploring are a few of the perks of spooning with your lover — and on a hot day (particularly those balmy mornings where you’ve already kicked the sheets down the bed) enjoying a good spoon can be a great way to work smarter and not harder.

Before you go, check out 100 (yes, 100) sex toys we’d recommend to all our friends: